Observations

Oh great, I know you just can't wait for my Christmas observations but you have to read through a few before you get to look at funny pictures, or I guess you can skim down, your choice, but I'd read on if I were you...........................

I've been on the Salvation Army bell several times over the past week and I've observed some really interesting sights at the Wal-Mart:

• There is genuine joy on most people's faces when they give. I must remember that during the next stewardship drive at church.............
• Some like to tell you that they just wrote a check and mailed it to the Salvation Army
• Some like to tell you the amount on the check
• Some like tell you these things loudly so that others can hear them
• Nearly all will either give something or apologize for not giving. Often they will tell you where they just gave to other Salvation Army bell ringers. I just smile and say Merry Christmas and thank you. I try not to be, but am way too often judgmental. I know that going to several stores and seeing the same red bucket can be expensive. SWMBO and I went into Harris Teeter last weekend without a penny on either of us. I smiled and said Merry Christmas. No one wants an explanation or a story about how much we give or that I do this myself...........or at least while I was telling them these things at Harris Teeter their faces showed complete and utter disinterest 
• Some people who look like they might possibly receive help from the Salvation Army give generously and happily.
• (The reverse of the above)
• I am judgmental
• My efforts were not to fulfill community service hours, but it would be nice to have a positive balance if I ever need it
• When I ring the bell I am forced away from my usual scowl-ish face and smile. Very unnatural for me to do that but I kinda like it...........need to do that more often
• Everyone has at least 5 flat screen televisions and more are going out the door every hour
• People who plead with their hands for the driver in front of them to do something often look at me observing them. They are never embarrassed and often include me in their rant with utter disbelief that someone in front of them stopped for whatever reason. I enunciate Merry Christmas so they can read my lips. Oh, and I'm number one in a lot of their books!
• I am super-thin
• I am judgmental, did I mention that already? 
• I am super-judgmental 
• I ring in front of a cross walk with two stop signs. When they stop, older women hit the throttle harder than any other sex/age group
• And one last thing: while ringing the bell I try to keep time with Led Zeppelin's Black Dog; I guess maybe I'm trying for the cymbals work. I realized today that when I'm distracted by something such as simple as a ..............................
• cell call
• airplane
• pretty woman
• motorcycle
• contrails
• loud car or truck engine
• helicopter
• argument in the parking lot (that was MY spot!)
• texts
• DJI update
• a horn blowing
• pretty woman, oh said that twice? I like those

.............................................. I unknowingly quit ringing the bell. Hopefully only I noticed that behavior but its kinda funny, to me anyway. No, I can't chew gum and walk at the same time but that is another story for another time. Really funny!

Mary Poppins is in the news, I still think this boy looked a lot like a Jim Holshouser. TAR assured me this young man died at age 21 after contracting hepatitis in India. Sorry to hear that sad news from the 70's, but I still think he looks like one of the best governors we ever had, no, not talking about Chicken Lips Hunt.                                                                                             

                                                      

This guy's picture is on every other entry in Facebook. I don't like the over-acting in reality television so I don't watch ZZ Top Bachelor Dynasty Can Dance Got Talent Idol Survivor Great Race Jersey Shore and I'm sorry he lost his job over expressing his opinions. But if he was fired for expressing his personal beliefs publicly (key phrase there) I would assume that either:

a) He is going to win a big lawsuit over his unjust removal

                                  or 

b) He and his lawyer didn't read his contract, which again I assume included a personal behavior/morals clause. Either way, ain't got a dog in that fight and I'm getting a little tired of hearing about it. 

Happy birthday Jesus! And thanks for everything

Now Jackson knows how he got cowlicks. Congratulations on the Dean's List again.

Can't hide class and you have to stay warm

Not sure which phase I'm in right now, leaning to the left a little, OK a lot

Forrest Gump and his new boat, my Christmas present every year for the rest of my life. Thanks Santa!

Cooper with Santa (don't forget Cappy wants a Ferrari)

Keelyn wants to be, and is a princess. In this rare shot she is looking directly at Santa!

And Annabel wants out. When I was little someone informed me that Santa had my pacifier, my parents told me later that I frisked Santa looking for it. 

> 1800 hits last week? I'm not sure how that is happening but thanks. Merry Christmas to all. Taking the rest of the year off from the blog (watch the numbers drop). Talk to you in 14.

Overheard At The Wal-Mart

Yep, got thrown out of another bakery

Great week on the road in Ohio and West Virginia, even got to see Jackson Thursday night on the way home. TAR has the house looking like Christmas, no more travel, tons of paperwork but that's OK, we'll get there.

Oh yes, two two-hour shifts at Wally World ringing the Salvation Army bell has been..............   enlightening. Two samples:

Guy standing at the entrance door with a red solo cup: "It's good Kentucky bourbon and I ain't going to pour it out or leave it in the car!" (glug glug glug)

Obese woman walking on bum legs while pulling at her waistline: "One of these days I'm going to have to break down and just go buy myself a belt"

Correlation: One having, one needing a ...................................belt.

Merry Christmas!

SHAFT

John Shaft, he's a bad ......................well you know the rest........................
Ever wonder what the Shaft theme would sound like in a different format?
                        click here    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfK-UzQ48JE
Yeah, you damn right. Can you dig it?
I'm not sure what this means:

 

Giants live in northern Virginia and they need toys and heaters!

But I want a giant tire not a little one:

Yum, had Jackson's girlfriend Elizabeth in town last weekend, fried oysters were the appetizers.

 And speaking of giant things, a look at my brother's new boat:

And sweet little Jessica, who spelled me for a few minutes ringing the bell this afternoon. I'll be back at the Wal-Mart Monday for two hours and this time I'm bringing a camera and I'm going to use it!

In the northeast this past week for some productive meetings, next week in WV and OH. Can't get that Shaft theme out of your head can you? 

Thanksgiving Weekend 2013

And we are thankful

What year and model?

What am I going to do with a huge coin? I probably won't be able to get it into my pocket? Why don't you sell pocket-size coins?

Part of an ad-hoc surf and turf from a couple of weeks ago; these are the elusive, tasty and no not poisonous North Carolina blowfish:

And of course the turf

Last but not least, if you slide your wiener in the wrong place someone will take your picture and post it on that danged old interweb, you've been warned......................

We are thankful for all sorts of things. This past week we had a tornado pretty close, fun with friends and family, and wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much good food. Thanks to all, off to the northeast Monday morning.

Me Naked

Scroll down to take a peek, go ahead I'll wait

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I really find that hard to believe: you thought I would post a naked picture of myself? And you wanted to see it? This turn of events is very disturbing.....very disturbing. 

We found ourselves this past week in Amelia Island for the annual AHRI meeting. It was very productive and I'm proud to say our committees are taking positive action in many ways. It is always fun to reunite with people in our industry in a formal, very important but also relaxed atmosphere.

Now back to the naked thing.....that sounded funny, anyway I've always thought that dancing in public is kinda like taking my clothes off with others around. It's not going to be pretty, I've probably, OK always had too much grape juice, absolutely everyone will be disappointed and I'll regret it later. And yes, I do dance when no one is looking; it's a public image disorder, one of many I enjoy, and I'm working on it. 

So this week I danced in public, well, sorta danced in public. I played tennis; first time in many years but I did it. And it was fun, although me thinketh that my knee-eth doth protest too much. TAR took this picture, nice follow through by the way.....AHRI usually publishes pictures of the meeting activities and I was the tennis chairman this year.............I'll post some more if available. I did notice that in every picture SWMBO took I had the same grimace. My knee is killing me

If there's something strange, in your neighborhood, who you gonna call?

Happy Thanksgiving and safe travels.

Moving Day

Halle Berry , Shania Twain, Drew Carey, Jim Carrey, Sylvester Stallone, Charlie Chaplin, Daniel Craig, David Letterman, Jim Morrison, Tupac, Tyler Perry, Debbie Reynolds, Dr. Phil, Colonel Sanders, Jesus Christ, Benjamin Franklin, Kelsey Grammar, Cary Grant, Ella Fitzgerald........................

What do all of these people have in common? I saw on the interweb so it must all be true: all homeless at some point in their lives. Go back and read the list again.

In NYC about nine years ago I was asked to describe the "average" homeless person. We've all seen them, think about how you would describe this person. The correct answer is "a child." Sad but true; tonight our church youth will participate in a cardboard village near the hospital. Hope they have some fun, don't get too cold and that it's an eye-opener.

In November 1992 NASCAR ended the season in Atlanta with Alan Kulwicki barely winning the championship over Bill Elliott. It was Richard Petty's last race; Jeff Gordon's first. It was a big moving day in racing history, watch this race Sunday and you might see some older guys moving out. Schrader has already retired, although I'll bet you'll see him at some short tracks around in the future. Might be Mark Martin's last race, Bobby Labonte and Jeff Burton have no plans for the future. But the good news is there is a boatload of talent coming up. Watch out for Kyle Larson. 

And we're moving out in the morning, heading back down to Florida for the AHRI annual meeting. Follow the bouncing ball and sing along with me:

         http://www.ahrinet.org/ahri+annual+meeting.aspx

Or not, your choice. And there ends another blog entry about next to nothing. And Anonymous; why don't you go up an alley and holler FISH?

Who Me?

Try to get this ear worm song out of your head: I'm looking over a .....................

....................................let me know if you can't solve that one, I'll have our grandson contact you.

Someone was arrested in California last week for the theft of two Chick-Fil-A cow suits, valued at over $5,000. They were arrested for trying to sell them on Craig's List on a Sunday. Get it? On a Sunday? Anyway it once again proves part of Darwin's Law....I hope. 

Years ago one of our friend's in the industry (no names please) wife tried to convince my wife to purchase some Kinkade paintings............"look at the light, it's the light"...............fortunately SWMBO never did. After Kinkade died we found he had some serious issues in his life, a very troubled man. Anyway last week this adaptation appeared online; I like it better than the original work.

And this from an online HVAC dealer; no need in paying the professional, I know someone who can do it cheaper. In our industry we look down on plumbers (all you have to remember is hot on the left, cold on the right, "it" flows downhill, don't chew your fingernails and payday is on Monday not Friday) yet the plumbing industry successfully sells $5,000.00 hand-painted bathroom basins while our industry cannot seem to add on any accessories which enhance the homeowner's quality of life indoors. OK, off my rant, enjoy the allegory.....if that's what it's called...................

And now for some senior citizen humor:

At Dink's hairdresser yesterday a lady came in, Linda said she would be taking care of her today as her regular hairdresser wasn't there. The lady became a little agitated, here's how it went:

Linda: she said you might be here today (Thursday) since you weren't here for your appointment yesterday (Wednesday)

Woman: I am here today for my appointment

Linda: you didn't have an appointment for Thursday

Woman: I know, that's why I'm here today

Linda: Today is Thursday

Woman: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Kind of sad I know, but then I can feel a lot better knowing that that little old lady is driving down Arendell every day or so. Comforting isn't it? But not as funny as the Wednesday Dink date with the podiatrist. While waiting for the patient a little old lady came into the lobby with someone who appeared to be her granddaughter. Hilarity ensued as the granddaughter began filling out the new patient questionnaire.

young woman (yw): Have you ever had cancer?

ow (you can figure it out): who me?

yw: yes you

ow: no

yw: have you been injured?

ow: who me?

yw: yes you

ow: no

You get the idea, the receptionist closed the sliding window and I engrossed myself with an online game of hearts. When we left they were on about the 10th question. Who me?

And that's your reward for living a long life?

Fishing tomorrow with the FO; hoping he will give me a picture of the new boat and me one day