Best and Wurst

No I don't like bratwurst, should have called it Best and Worst.

Best football player name: Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, University of Alabama; and let the jokes begin.........

Worst Air Conditioning (commercial/industrial application) : AHRI Congressional Reception in August, Congress was not in session, but all of the aides were present for free food and drinks, air conditioning was not working since it was after 5:00. I sweated through my suit. Maybe at this point I should mention the reason I was there was because I work closely with AHRI and AHRI is the acronym for Air-Conditioning Heating and Refrigeration Industry.
Worst air conditioning (residential application): The house we rented in Montreat. Actually there was no air conditioning and the house was just............kinda......wet, all week long. And hot. And steamy. And I had a great time as chaperon with some fine young men from our church. Read 4 books that week. Only lost a couple of the boys, maybe 3 or 4; you know, I really should have kept a nose count. 

Best sports surprise: Tie: Auburn scoring on the last play against Alabama; Duke Blue Devils football program, this year no longer an oxymoron!

Worst sale: I sold the Mercury 25 HP boat engine using Craig's List, went into the unlocked garage a few days later and discovered the trolling motor and deep cell battery were missing. Do the math.

Best BBQ: Skylight Inn, Ayden NC. Just right nearly every time.

Worst BBQ: Smithfield's Morehead City. The last time SWMBO picked some up the only flavor was black pepper. Great fried chicken though...............

Best HVAC/R Expo: Dallas, got so much more accomplished by not having a booth

Worst Philly Cheese Steak: Some place in Philadelphia

Best Philly Cheese Steak: Another place in Philadelphia

Worst pain: Knee, after unsuccessful return to competitive tennis

Best party, wedding and reception: all to Andrew and Leanne High, April 20

Worst hangover: April 21

Worst motorcycle moment: Watching my beautiful 1978 BMW r100/7 leave the driveway heading north on a small handmade trailer pulled by a Toyota Corolla. Sold it for $5.00 more than I paid. No, I am not going to calculate the hours or parts thank you.................

Best motorcycle moment: January purchase of a used 2004 BMW r1150rt; it's as though it was built in another century, a touring motorcycle that goes 0-60 in 4.0 seconds. Do some research and discover how many cars have that type of performance. OK, now look up how many street cars can..............now look up how many street cars that are less than $50,000, new or used. It's fun to ride.

Worst impression of Willis, from the show Diff'rent Strokes:

Uncanny, huh? I can't help but wonder to what subject he was previously referring. (What chew talkin bout willis?)
Best Christmas gift for TAR:

Uncanny, huh?
Worst Batman pun, let me know if you have trouble figuring this one out:

Get it? I can wait..........................

Best Christmas: 2013. Nearly all of our plans were jumbled and it worked out just fine.......

Best boat purchase: probably my last one, 21 foot Parker; I am looking forward to making a lot of fish insomniac nervous wrecks during the next decade or so.

Let's finish with a bunch of bests:

Best fishing trip: Tie between the Little Alligator River trip in the old yellow boat and my 15 pound Cobia that the Fishin Optishin claimed he caught. Of course that would have been easier to prove if my wife hadn't taken his picture with it.

Best summer internship: Jackson in DC for the second time, working for that evil right wing group NATE. Just kidding, calm down. We were able to see him a couple of times, and took Holly, Jay and Cooper one weekend. Good times................Cooper looking for 4 leaf clovers at Mount Vernon

Best OR worst haircut, I welcome your vote...............or not

We'll end on a best or worst entry, your pick:

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5j_8YSxQu0 (you need to cut and paste, I can't upload it to this blog for some reason, in the mean time I dare you to watch all of it, make that a double dare)

Personally I liked it, but then again sometimes all of my oars aren't in the water

And I realize I didn't include the super secret combat picture of NK, but it's on my desktop and will be in here next week, same Bat time, same Bat channel. Figured out that Batman puzzle yet?

.............................and we're back

I've had a busy couple of days so I thought it best to publish on a Thursday rather than Friday. After all I make the rules, well the rules regarding this blog anyway. Well no, I don't make all the rules about the blog, well..................anyway.............. What did I miss? Have you noticed how the days are getting longer?

A rare Riley Christmas picture where everyone is smiling. It was a very different Christmas this year for a multitude of reasons but I'd like to cap it off my noting that TAR, Jackson and I had our Christmas dinner at the Morehead City IHOP. You can work backwards from there and see steaks for the Matthews family Christmas dinner, no Sanford crew for Christmas, didn't know if we would go to Durham, yes, it was very different, but good. There were several illnesses and schedule conflicts that caused our disruptions but in the end it didn't really matter. We enjoyed it. 

Difference reigns! This is the store formerly known as Woodcroft Optical. Big changes in Durham. The Fishin Optishin is moving on to other goals and objectives; I'll let him tell you what they are when he gets good and ready

Somehow or another we celebrated another New Year's Eve at the High estate, we think it's been going on for about 30 years but no one can remember that well. Memory lapses are the result of too much "cough medicine" 

Shrimp Carbonara was the highlight of our dining experience. Due to travel issues with SWMBO and I going in different directions and then meeting in Durham, I got a nice ride on the bike. See, it's all good!

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, can't you just smell that shrimp cooking? We had lots of tasty treats including fried oysters as an appetizer. 

Keelyn doing her fish face

Cooper doing his Cooper face

.............................and Annabel doing her impression of a debutante. You might want to keep that picture for her wedding album. Of course by then the album will be a series of holograms or some new invention that my feeble mind cannot even begin to comprehend. 

So it's 2014 and I am still writing 1999 on my checks. Sneak peek at next week's blog, a recently declassified picture of Nephew Kevin doing his new job with the USCG, one more poke at that thug tar hole PJ, and also, the best and worst of 2013, you don't want to miss it, so tune in next week, same time, same channel. 

Happy New Year

Observations

Oh great, I know you just can't wait for my Christmas observations but you have to read through a few before you get to look at funny pictures, or I guess you can skim down, your choice, but I'd read on if I were you...........................

I've been on the Salvation Army bell several times over the past week and I've observed some really interesting sights at the Wal-Mart:

• There is genuine joy on most people's faces when they give. I must remember that during the next stewardship drive at church.............
• Some like to tell you that they just wrote a check and mailed it to the Salvation Army
• Some like to tell you the amount on the check
• Some like tell you these things loudly so that others can hear them
• Nearly all will either give something or apologize for not giving. Often they will tell you where they just gave to other Salvation Army bell ringers. I just smile and say Merry Christmas and thank you. I try not to be, but am way too often judgmental. I know that going to several stores and seeing the same red bucket can be expensive. SWMBO and I went into Harris Teeter last weekend without a penny on either of us. I smiled and said Merry Christmas. No one wants an explanation or a story about how much we give or that I do this myself...........or at least while I was telling them these things at Harris Teeter their faces showed complete and utter disinterest 
• Some people who look like they might possibly receive help from the Salvation Army give generously and happily.
• (The reverse of the above)
• I am judgmental
• My efforts were not to fulfill community service hours, but it would be nice to have a positive balance if I ever need it
• When I ring the bell I am forced away from my usual scowl-ish face and smile. Very unnatural for me to do that but I kinda like it...........need to do that more often
• Everyone has at least 5 flat screen televisions and more are going out the door every hour
• People who plead with their hands for the driver in front of them to do something often look at me observing them. They are never embarrassed and often include me in their rant with utter disbelief that someone in front of them stopped for whatever reason. I enunciate Merry Christmas so they can read my lips. Oh, and I'm number one in a lot of their books!
• I am super-thin
• I am judgmental, did I mention that already? 
• I am super-judgmental 
• I ring in front of a cross walk with two stop signs. When they stop, older women hit the throttle harder than any other sex/age group
• And one last thing: while ringing the bell I try to keep time with Led Zeppelin's Black Dog; I guess maybe I'm trying for the cymbals work. I realized today that when I'm distracted by something such as simple as a ..............................
• cell call
• airplane
• pretty woman
• motorcycle
• contrails
• loud car or truck engine
• helicopter
• argument in the parking lot (that was MY spot!)
• texts
• DJI update
• a horn blowing
• pretty woman, oh said that twice? I like those

.............................................. I unknowingly quit ringing the bell. Hopefully only I noticed that behavior but its kinda funny, to me anyway. No, I can't chew gum and walk at the same time but that is another story for another time. Really funny!

Mary Poppins is in the news, I still think this boy looked a lot like a Jim Holshouser. TAR assured me this young man died at age 21 after contracting hepatitis in India. Sorry to hear that sad news from the 70's, but I still think he looks like one of the best governors we ever had, no, not talking about Chicken Lips Hunt.                                                                                             

                                                      

This guy's picture is on every other entry in Facebook. I don't like the over-acting in reality television so I don't watch ZZ Top Bachelor Dynasty Can Dance Got Talent Idol Survivor Great Race Jersey Shore and I'm sorry he lost his job over expressing his opinions. But if he was fired for expressing his personal beliefs publicly (key phrase there) I would assume that either:

a) He is going to win a big lawsuit over his unjust removal

                                  or 

b) He and his lawyer didn't read his contract, which again I assume included a personal behavior/morals clause. Either way, ain't got a dog in that fight and I'm getting a little tired of hearing about it. 

Happy birthday Jesus! And thanks for everything

Now Jackson knows how he got cowlicks. Congratulations on the Dean's List again.

Can't hide class and you have to stay warm

Not sure which phase I'm in right now, leaning to the left a little, OK a lot

Forrest Gump and his new boat, my Christmas present every year for the rest of my life. Thanks Santa!

Cooper with Santa (don't forget Cappy wants a Ferrari)

Keelyn wants to be, and is a princess. In this rare shot she is looking directly at Santa!

And Annabel wants out. When I was little someone informed me that Santa had my pacifier, my parents told me later that I frisked Santa looking for it. 

> 1800 hits last week? I'm not sure how that is happening but thanks. Merry Christmas to all. Taking the rest of the year off from the blog (watch the numbers drop). Talk to you in 14.

Overheard At The Wal-Mart

Yep, got thrown out of another bakery

Great week on the road in Ohio and West Virginia, even got to see Jackson Thursday night on the way home. TAR has the house looking like Christmas, no more travel, tons of paperwork but that's OK, we'll get there.

Oh yes, two two-hour shifts at Wally World ringing the Salvation Army bell has been..............   enlightening. Two samples:

Guy standing at the entrance door with a red solo cup: "It's good Kentucky bourbon and I ain't going to pour it out or leave it in the car!" (glug glug glug)

Obese woman walking on bum legs while pulling at her waistline: "One of these days I'm going to have to break down and just go buy myself a belt"

Correlation: One having, one needing a ...................................belt.

Merry Christmas!

SHAFT

John Shaft, he's a bad ......................well you know the rest........................
Ever wonder what the Shaft theme would sound like in a different format?
                        click here    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfK-UzQ48JE
Yeah, you damn right. Can you dig it?
I'm not sure what this means:

 

Giants live in northern Virginia and they need toys and heaters!

But I want a giant tire not a little one:

Yum, had Jackson's girlfriend Elizabeth in town last weekend, fried oysters were the appetizers.

 And speaking of giant things, a look at my brother's new boat:

And sweet little Jessica, who spelled me for a few minutes ringing the bell this afternoon. I'll be back at the Wal-Mart Monday for two hours and this time I'm bringing a camera and I'm going to use it!

In the northeast this past week for some productive meetings, next week in WV and OH. Can't get that Shaft theme out of your head can you? 

Thanksgiving Weekend 2013

And we are thankful

What year and model?

What am I going to do with a huge coin? I probably won't be able to get it into my pocket? Why don't you sell pocket-size coins?

Part of an ad-hoc surf and turf from a couple of weeks ago; these are the elusive, tasty and no not poisonous North Carolina blowfish:

And of course the turf

Last but not least, if you slide your wiener in the wrong place someone will take your picture and post it on that danged old interweb, you've been warned......................

We are thankful for all sorts of things. This past week we had a tornado pretty close, fun with friends and family, and wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much good food. Thanks to all, off to the northeast Monday morning.

Me Naked

Scroll down to take a peek, go ahead I'll wait

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I really find that hard to believe: you thought I would post a naked picture of myself? And you wanted to see it? This turn of events is very disturbing.....very disturbing. 

We found ourselves this past week in Amelia Island for the annual AHRI meeting. It was very productive and I'm proud to say our committees are taking positive action in many ways. It is always fun to reunite with people in our industry in a formal, very important but also relaxed atmosphere.

Now back to the naked thing.....that sounded funny, anyway I've always thought that dancing in public is kinda like taking my clothes off with others around. It's not going to be pretty, I've probably, OK always had too much grape juice, absolutely everyone will be disappointed and I'll regret it later. And yes, I do dance when no one is looking; it's a public image disorder, one of many I enjoy, and I'm working on it. 

So this week I danced in public, well, sorta danced in public. I played tennis; first time in many years but I did it. And it was fun, although me thinketh that my knee-eth doth protest too much. TAR took this picture, nice follow through by the way.....AHRI usually publishes pictures of the meeting activities and I was the tennis chairman this year.............I'll post some more if available. I did notice that in every picture SWMBO took I had the same grimace. My knee is killing me

If there's something strange, in your neighborhood, who you gonna call?

Happy Thanksgiving and safe travels.