And That Is All I Have To Say About That

From WIKI:

During the 2021 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix, Masi was involved in a safety car procedure controversy. On lap 56 of the race, during which Lewis Hamilton was leading, it was deemed that lapped cars would not be allowed to retake their lap, but abruptly on lap 57, Masi changed the decision. He however only allowed the five cars directly in front of championship contender Max Verstappen to unlap themselves before the restart. This allowed Verstappen, who had pitted into soft tyres, a chance to overtake Hamilton, and with that win the 2021 World Drivers' Championship. Mercedes protested the race result, on the grounds that Masi did not follow the correct procedure, by arbitrarily allowing the cars directly in front of Verstappen to unlap themselves, and no others, despite initially rejecting requests from Red Bull to do so. The team argued that this was a breach of Article 48.12 of the 2021 FIA Formula One Sporting Regulations, and if procedure was followed, it would have secured Hamilton's 8th Worlds Drivers' Championship. The protest was rejected.

Masi's decisions were criticized on social media and by racing drivers as unusual and to contrive excitement. Former world champion Damon Hill noted that the decision appeared without precedent, stating that it was "a new way of running the sport, where the Race Director can make these ad hoc decisions". Former world champion Nico Rosberg felt that Masi "did not follow the rules" and that Christian Horner demanding "one more lap of racing" to Masi via radio was inappropriate. McLaren driver Daniel Ricciardo commented that Masi's decision to let other drivers unlap, but not him, was unusual.

Williams driver George Russell criticized the events, stating that it was "absolutely unacceptable".[20] McLaren driver Lando Norris suggested that the decision was made to create an entertaining finish to the race, and "made for TV".[21] Writing for Fox Sports, Jack Austin stated that F1 "engineered" the finish to increase viewer excitement. Jordan Bianchi of The Athletic echoed a similar sentiment, suggesting that Masi's decision was to ensure that "Netflix gets another juicy storyline for the next season of Drive to Survive" and questioned his capability in effectively officiating a race.

The FIA defended Masi's decision, stating that the Race Director has the "overriding authority" to amend any rule regarding safety car procedure as they wish.

Mercedes announced their intentions to appeal under article 15 of the International Sporting Code and Article 10 of the FIA's Judicial and Disciplinary Code.

 Yes, This Is A Christmas Story!

..............if you grew up in Rocky Mount.

In eastern North Carolina we like to tell stories and every now and then one of them is true. 

You have no doubt heard many beautiful Christmas stories, mostly about the birth of Christ. Some are updated, about how soldiers in the Civil War through WW2 would sing Christmas carols across no man's land, excuse me while I wipe a tear from the corner of my eye. Others might feature a family coming back together in time for Christmas Eve. Hallmark has introduced us to a new genre about, well, I don't know what they are about, I just know they start in August. One of my favorite secular stories is about Kris Kringle at Macy's. And then there are the Griswold adventures with whom many of us can identify.

But this morning I remember one of the most sentimental stories of all, and yes, it came out of eastern NC. What you say? Yes, the story of Horace the mule. I am already swelling up with a saline solution in my eyes just thinking about it. So here for your reading pleasure, is the story of Horace the mule. Please share it with all of your family, especially the toddlers:

The story of the ill-fated adventures of Horace the Mule, made famous by the late Edmund Harding of Washington, was the topic of a column by Vernon Sechriest, who was managing editor of the Evening Telegram for many years before his death in 1990. It became a holiday favorite in the Rocky Mount area.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mrs. George Wood, now deceased, of Chowan County had a mule who was named Horace. On Christmas Eve she called up Dr. Satterfield in Edenton and said to him, “Doctor, Horace is sick, and I wish you would come take a look at him.”

Dr. Satterfield said, “Oh Fannie Lamb, it’s after 6 o’clock, and I’m eating supper. Give him a dose of mineral oil, and if he isn’t all right in the morning, phone me, and I’ll come out and take a look at him.”

“How’ll I give it to him?,” she inquired.

“Through a funnel,” replied the good doctor.

“But, he might bite me,” she protested.

“Oh, Fannie Lamb — you’re a farm woman, and you know about these things. Give it to him through the other end.”

So Fannie Lamb went out to the barn, and there stood Horace, with his head held down, just moaning and groaning.

She looked around for a funnel, but the nearest thing she could see to one was her Uncle Bill’s fox hunting horn, hanging on the wall, a beautiful gold-plated instrument with gold tassels hanging from it.

She took the horn and affixed it properly. Horace paid no attention.

Then she reached up on the shelf where medicines for the farm animals were kept. But instead of picking up the mineral oil, she picked up a bottle of turpentine and she poured a liberal dose into the horn.

Horace raised his head with a sudden jerk.

He let out a yell that could have been heard a mile away.

He reared up on his hind legs, brought his front legs down, knocked out the side of the barn, jumped a 5-foot fence and started down the road at a mad gallop.

Now Horace was in pain, so every few jumps he made, that horn would blow.

All the dogs in the neighborhood knew that when that horn was blowing it meant that Uncle Bill was going fox hunting. So down the highway they went, close behind Horace.

(Editor's note: As Gomer Pyle said, this here is my favorite part)

It was a marvelous sight. First, Horace — running at top speed; the horn, in a most unusual position, the mellow notes issuing therefrom; the tassels waving; and the dogs, barking joyously.

They passed by the home of Old Man Harvey Hogan, who was sitting on his front porch, well into the cups as they say down east. He hadn’t drawn a sober breath in 15 years, and he gazed in fascinated amazement at the sight that unfolded itself before his eyes.

Incidentally, Harvey is now head man of Alcoholics Anonymous in the Albemarle section of the state.

By this time it was good and dark. Horace and the dogs were approaching the Chowan River Bridge.

The bridgetender heard the horn blowing and figured a boat was approaching. So he hurriedly went out and elevated the bridge.

Horace went over the edge, straight into the river and was drowned. The dogs jumped into the water, but they could swim and climbed out without much difficulty.

Now it so happened that the bridgetender was running for the office of sheriff of Chowan County, but he managed to get only seven votes.

The people figured that any man who didn’t know the difference between a mule with a horn up his rear and a boat coming down the Inland Waterway wasn’t fit to hold any public office in Chowan County.

Who picked up on the irony of the farmer's wife? 

I know what you are thinking, but why is this story a Christmas story? Because it happened on Christmas Eve!

Morphing GOAT !!!

Yes, a deviation from the macabre, thought you might enjoy seeing this next edition of the GOAT:

Sell away!

If You Want Something Done Right..............

I don't know this for sure, but it appears as though the subject of this obituary was the author also. Well done!

December 16, 1954 - November 13, 2021

Cary, North Carolina - See, I told ya I wasn't lying about that cancer thing. I was born in Elmira, New York to the late Monna B. and Merritt B. Derry. I spent my entire youth and childhood in Elmira Heights, New York graduating from Thomas A. Edison High School in 1973. After bouncing around aimlessly I joined the United States Air Force in 1976. It was there that I became interested in psychiatry and decided to choose this as my line of work. In 2016 I retired from nursing at UNC Hospital's Child and Adolescent Psych units. I'm survived by a very special daughter Elizabeth Lanier (Mike) and two brothers, Edwin Derry (Sylvia) and Thomas Derry (Pamela Rapp). Also survived by nieces Shelby Wisneski and Chelsea Derry and a nephew David Derry (Brenda) and family. After cremation, remains will be spread throughout the country. There will be no funeral, calling hours, grave, nothing. I had too many people in my life, friend and foe, telling me they could not wait to urinate on my grave. Looks like I've won… except for that death thing. Memorial contributions may be made to Transitions LifeCare (Raleigh) or the American Cancer Society.

Published by The News & Observer on Nov. 21, 2021.

One has to ask oneself, when was the last time the word "urinate" was used in an obituary?

A Word To The Wise

Stephen A. Lawrence

September 11, 1962 - October 24, 2021

Nashville, Tennessee - Stephen A. Lawrence passed away on Sunday, October 24th in Nashville TN where he had recently relocated to work helping people get jobs. He said, "this is my dream job." Stephen died from a server Covid-19 infection after refusing to believe that Covid was real and refusing to get a vaccine. And then refusing to go to the hospital when he could not breathe. He would now tell you that Covid-19 is REAL and to GET A VACCINE. Stephen was a local Garner boy. He leaves behind his broken-hearted 92-year-old Mother, Jessie "POLLY" Lawrence who was the face of THE HICKORY HOUSE in Garner for 28 years, His son Derek and brother David, along with many others who cared for and loved knowing him. Please make his passing mean something. Please go and get a vaccine in his honor.

Published by The News & Observer on Nov. 19, 2021.

Poor Guy

Just sit back and try to imagine what "Pat" could have accomplished if he only had more time here on Earth. He certainly did a lot to have only been here negative 21 days..............

Edgar "Pat" Stacy

November 26, 2021 - November 5, 2021
Cary, North Carolina - Edgar "Pat" Stacy, 85 of Glenaire, Cary, NC, died November 5, 2021. Pat was the son of Frank Thomas and Jewell Stacy. His father worked in GA and FL where Pat was raised by his father and stepmother, Francis Helen Dodson Stacy. After his father's death, Pat and his stepmother returned to her home in Halifax County, VA. He attended VA Tech and left school for the Navy and then graduated from Southern Polytechnic State University.
He worked as a Radar Technician on the Ballistic Missile Early Warning System in Thule, Greenland, then at Cape Canaveral. He taught electronics at Randolph Community College in Asheboro, and joined IBM in 1967, retired in 1994.
He and Betty Joyce Williams of Halifax County, VA were married in 1964.
Pat was a birdwatcher who enjoyed hunting, fishing, hosting friends at his beach house, watching This Old House. He was most happy helping others with work and enjoyed building decks for friends, and friends of friends, with his buddy Graham Peterson. Deck completion was followed by christening parties conducted by Betty and Darlene Peterson, Graham's wife.
Pat volunteered at WakeMed Cary Hospital and as a trainer at Raleigh Senior Technical Training Center. He volunteered on Appalachia Service Missions by the First United Methodist Church where he was a member.
Pat and Betty enjoyed 44 great years of marriage before her death in 2011. In recent years, Pat enjoyed life at Glenaire, where he developed many new friendships, including a very special friend, Sue Devaul.
His is survived by many friends, 14 nieces/nephews and their 38 decsendants.
The special care and assistance provided for Pat by Dr. Susan Crittenden is greatly appreciated by the family. The family would like to thank Penny Adams, Jackie King and other staff at Glenaire for the care and support of Pat.
A Celebration of Life Service will be at 2:00 PM on November 19th at First United Methodist Church, 117 S Academy St, Cary, NC 27511. After the service, friends and family will be greeted at a reception at Glenaire, 4000 Glenaire Circle, Cary, NC.
A graveside service will be held at Dan River Baptist Church, 1228 Dan River Church Road, Halifax, VA at 11:AM on November 20th. Contributions may be made to Glenaire Residence Association with Employee Appreciation Fund noted on memo line and mailed to Association Treasurer, Bill Smith, 4000 Glenaire Circle, Cary 27511 or to the First United Methodist Church noting Appalachia Service Missions, sent to First United Methodist Church, 117 S Academy St, Cary, NC 27511.

Published by The News & Observer on Nov. 14, 2021.

Do Re Mi

Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.This is definitely in the top 10 of all obits, maybe the best:

“William Freddie McCullough – BLOOMINGDALE – The man. The myth. The legend. Men wanted to be him and women wanted to be with him. William Freddie McCullough died on September 11, 2013. Freddie loved deep fried Southern food smothered in Cane Syrup, fishing at Santee Cooper Lake, Little Debbie Cakes, Two and a Half Men, beautiful women, Reeses Cups and Jim Beam. Not necessarily in that order. He hated vegetables and hypocrites. Not necessarily in that order. He was a master craftsman who single -handedly built his beautiful house from the ground up. Freddie was also great at growing fruit trees, grilling chicken and ribs, popping wheelies on his Harley at 50 mph, making everyone feel appreciated and hitting Coke bottles at thirty yards with his 45. When it came to floor covering, Freddie was one of the best in the business. And he loved doing it. Freddie loved to tell stories. And you could be sure 50% of every story was true. You just never knew which 50%. Marshall Matt Dillon, Ben Cartwright and Charlie Harper were his TV heroes. And he was the hero for his six children: Mark, Shain, Clint, Brandice, Ashley and Thomas. Freddie adored the ladies. And they adored him. There isn’t enough space here to list all of the women from Freddie’s past. There isn’t enough space in the Bloomingdale phone book. A few of the more colorful ones were Momma Margie, Crazy Pam, Big Tittie Wanda, Spacy Stacy and Sweet Melissa (he explained that nickname had nothing to do with her attitude). He attracted more women than a shoe sale at Macy’s. He got married when he was 18, but it didn’t last. Freddie was no quitter, however, so he gave it a shot two more times. It didn’t work out with any of the wives, but he managed to stay friends with them and their parents. In between his many adventures, Freddie appeared in several films including The Ordeal of Dr. Mudd, A Time for Miracles, The Conspirator, Double Wide Blues and Pretty Fishes. When Freddie took off for that pool party in the sky, he left behind his sons Mark McCullough, Shain McCullough and his wife Amy, Clint McCullough and his wife Desiree, and Thomas McCullough and his wife Candice; and his daughters Brandice Chambers and her husband Michael, Ashley Cooler and her husband Justin; his brothers Jimmie and Eddie McCullough; and his girlfriend Lisa Hopkins; and seven delightful grandkids. Freddie was killed when he rushed into a burning orphanage to save a group of adorable children. Or maybe not. We all know how he liked to tell stories. “

Colorful, Wanda sounds like a really nice young lady; expect more junk like this