Who Me?

Try to get this ear worm song out of your head: I'm looking over a .....................

....................................let me know if you can't solve that one, I'll have our grandson contact you.

Someone was arrested in California last week for the theft of two Chick-Fil-A cow suits, valued at over $5,000. They were arrested for trying to sell them on Craig's List on a Sunday. Get it? On a Sunday? Anyway it once again proves part of Darwin's Law....I hope. 

Years ago one of our friend's in the industry (no names please) wife tried to convince my wife to purchase some Kinkade paintings............"look at the light, it's the light"...............fortunately SWMBO never did. After Kinkade died we found he had some serious issues in his life, a very troubled man. Anyway last week this adaptation appeared online; I like it better than the original work.

And this from an online HVAC dealer; no need in paying the professional, I know someone who can do it cheaper. In our industry we look down on plumbers (all you have to remember is hot on the left, cold on the right, "it" flows downhill, don't chew your fingernails and payday is on Monday not Friday) yet the plumbing industry successfully sells $5,000.00 hand-painted bathroom basins while our industry cannot seem to add on any accessories which enhance the homeowner's quality of life indoors. OK, off my rant, enjoy the allegory.....if that's what it's called...................

And now for some senior citizen humor:

At Dink's hairdresser yesterday a lady came in, Linda said she would be taking care of her today as her regular hairdresser wasn't there. The lady became a little agitated, here's how it went:

Linda: she said you might be here today (Thursday) since you weren't here for your appointment yesterday (Wednesday)

Woman: I am here today for my appointment

Linda: you didn't have an appointment for Thursday

Woman: I know, that's why I'm here today

Linda: Today is Thursday

Woman: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Kind of sad I know, but then I can feel a lot better knowing that that little old lady is driving down Arendell every day or so. Comforting isn't it? But not as funny as the Wednesday Dink date with the podiatrist. While waiting for the patient a little old lady came into the lobby with someone who appeared to be her granddaughter. Hilarity ensued as the granddaughter began filling out the new patient questionnaire.

young woman (yw): Have you ever had cancer?

ow (you can figure it out): who me?

yw: yes you

ow: no

yw: have you been injured?

ow: who me?

yw: yes you

ow: no

You get the idea, the receptionist closed the sliding window and I engrossed myself with an online game of hearts. When we left they were on about the 10th question. Who me?

And that's your reward for living a long life?

Fishing tomorrow with the FO; hoping he will give me a picture of the new boat and me one day

HAH!

Rest in Peace Edna Krabappel, oh wait, that's the same as crab apple, why have i never noticed that? She was a funny lady and played many funny parts for a long time, but none better than the too-often drunk and too-seldom laid teacher on The Simpsons. Should be interesting to see how they play her out. 

Interesting truck northbound on I-95 yesterday, how many pickup truck beds can you count?

The new boat is a winner. Fresh fish Saturday and Sunday night. Went out for a ride Sunday after church and managed to find our limit on fat little gray trout. 

You can't hide class on the south side of Orlando! Sweet ride, although the back left tire could use a bit more air pressure. I'm not sure this was the intent of the original minivan. 

Biggest wave I've ever seen, and it was ridden. 

In town next week...........I think.

SERENITY NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (part two)

Ah, now I feel better. It helps if you scream it like George Costanza, trust me, scream it now. Feels good doesn't it?

What the heck is this?

We were fortunate to go to Charleston SC last weekend for a wedding. Saw a lot of faces that haven't been seen (by me anyway) in a long long time. It was a 5:30 outdoor wedding; you know the risks involved, well it happened. As the groomsmen were entering the bottom fell out. I ran back to the car (OK I ran a little, then stopped, bent over and caught my breath, then walked very quickly) to get some umbrellas, by the time I got back everyone was under the tent. We waited for a little while and then resumed the ceremony. This time the wedding party came in a little more quickly and were less spaced apart. It was a grand time, we were able to spend some time with Jay & Holly, had a fancy brunch the next morning and then took off to get back home. This fountain was beautiful and had a great symbolic message, but all I could think about was my father giving me Pepto-Bismol one time before, well let's just say before the coast was clear. Now try to get that graphic image from your brain. 

Jackson was home for a few days so we fished on Monday. Caught enough for dinner but not much more. He really liked the new boat; oh yeah, keep meaning to post some pictures of that. Maybe next week, the FO is fishing with me this weekend. 

Let's see, how do we make the first picture come full circle? Really easy; I worked the church pumpkin patch a couple of weeks ago and saw some little baseball players from Newport. They played in a fall league game, looked to be 5-7 years old. One told me that he is the pitcher. I asked if he could throw a breaking ball, he said the coaches won't let him, and that he has to wait until he has hair under his arm before he can. No, you can't make that stuff up. BTW when I googled the phrase "hairy arm pit" to retrieve that picture there was nothing but pictures of women with..................you get the idea. I've got a feeling I'm going to be receiving some really weird e-mails in the future.

Off to FL Monday morning

Good Times

We had our stewardship dinner with the enthuuuuuuuuusiastic John Capps to speak and motivate our congregation. If you missed it you missed a lot. I figured John would hit a home run, it was a ten run homer if such things existed. Thanks John, and here's a copy of something he handed out, well worth the read if you can enlarge it

In case you've ever wondered how much cigarettes cost these days, and who doesn't.....here it is from Long Island, NY. When I saw the sign I thought well $0.82 a pack, if you buy a carton isn't so bad. No, this is for a pack. Been a long time since I bought a pack, if I still smoked and then quit I could afford a boat payment! But more on that later................

Busy at work while you're reading this? Here's a good way to waste some time........a bear playing tether ball

And if you're still bored, check out this bass player doing his thaaaaaang

Not sure what next week holds but we plan to fish Monday with Jackson while he's home for fall break. Oh yeah, in the new boat, but stay tuned for more information on that later

Cheesey Grits

 

And lots of them in Richmond County........When I moved there in 1978 there was one radio station on the air, WAYN 900. I was confused on my first day at work when I came home about 10:00 PM I couldn't find the station. Turns out they went off the air at dark. You see kids, back in the 70's radio stations used electricity, which obviously was not available to people in Richmond County after dark.....and you can insert your joke here.

Regardless I listened to WAYN in the morning and enjoyed the morning host Jimmy Smith. He rang a cowbell at 6:00, played the birthday song after selecting the winning number with the help of his janitor Oscar, played obituaries on the air, had a morning song which John Boy and Billy used to joke about before syndication.....you get the picture.

Famous quotes I still remember:

"Oscar I need a number between 1 and _____" That was the method for choosing the birthday cake winner.

On any girl turning 16 "she's never held hands or made goo goo eyes or passed notes in school" Probably more to that remark than I recall but very funny and oh so true of all of those Puritan Richmond County girls...........insert joke number two here.

Jimmy was remarkably funny and had a distinctive AM radio voice. When I met the salesman who sold for WAYN I guessed that he was Jimmy Smith, he wasn't, he was Alex and his voice sounded just like Jimmy's. The funny part about that is those were the only two voices you ever heard on the radio, every ad, everything had one of those two voices and they sounded the same. No, you can't make stuff up that's this funny......to me anyway.....insert joke number three here

So why am I rambling on about this? Good question, it's because the righteous and honorable Barry Saunders wrote an article about Jimmy in The News and Observer this week:

 

ROCKINGHAM — Like dozens of little cities and towns throughout the South, Rockingham survived the closings of most of its textile mills and the loss of thousands of jobs. It even survived the departure of NASCAR from the N.C. Motor Speedway.

Can it survive this loss, though?

A few weeks ago, Jimmy Smith broadcast his last show as the morning disc jockey there on radio station WAYN-AM. He’d been as much a part of the city and Richmond County as the race track that brought the city worldwide renown, and the mills that employed generations of lintheads and sustained the businesses in which they shopped.

Twelve years ago, I wrote a column about driving through my hometown and unexpectedly hearing Smith’s familiar voice on the air. He’d been on for 50 years then, and I’d grown up listening to him tell who was born, who died and whether there’d be school tomorrow because of an impending snowflake that may or may not have been headed our way.

How, one wonders, will kids know whether there’ll be school tomorrow without Smith telling them and ringing his famous cowbell?

When he rang it for the final time a few weeks ago, he’d put in 62 years

Not even a radio historian such as Don Curtis, owner and chief executive officer of Curtis Media, could tell whether that made Smith the state’s longest-serving disc jockey at one station, but he knew it was close. He noted that Carl Lamm at WTSB in Smithfield may have been on the air longer.

Lamm’s daughter, Linda Carroll, said Wednesday her father has been on the air “continuously for 66 years. He’s on right now.”

Lamm, 88, has broadcast on stations in Rocky Mount, Dunn and Garner; Smith put in all of his time behind one microphone.

“I was 16 when I started and a junior at Rockingham High School,” he told me. “I was working at the Dixie Home store” – which later became the Winn-Dixie – “which was right next door to the station. I would get off from work there and go up to the lobby of the radio station and watch the deejay and the Associated Press teletype before I would go home.”

One day the school announced that the station was auditioning applicants for a part-time announcer for its platter chatter show.

“There were five of us who showed up,” Smith said, “and you had to go every day” to be tutored and critiqued. “I just kept going back longer than anybody else did. On the day they hired me, I was the only one who showed up.”

See there? Woody Allen was right, at least in this instance: 80 percent of success is just showing up.

Over the years, Smith said, he was courted by stations in Charlotte and Virginia. Was he ever tempted, I asked, to take one of those jobs?

“No, not at all,” he said. “I was in my hometown, which is where I wanted to be, doing what I wanted to do.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “To laugh often and love much … this is to have succeeded.”

So, too, he might have added, is doing what you want to do where you want do it for 62 years – especially when it takes you less than one minute to get to work from home, as it did Smith.

State Sen. Eugene McLaurin, a Rockingham native, former mayor and pal of mine, said, “Jimmy helped get me up every morning and get motivated for school by ringing that cowbell and talking about cheesy grits. Jimmy loved Richmond County, and Richmond County loved him. I was proud to declare ‘Jimmy Smith Day’ in 2001,” after Smith had been on for 50 years.

I remember that durned sleep-interrupting cowbell, too, but less fondly than does McLaurin.

How did Smith know it was time to sign off for good?

“I heard Woody Durham” – the play-by-play announcer of the UNC Tar Heels for 40 years – “say he realized he wasn’t quite as sharp, and so that’s the reason he retired,” Smith said. “I can identify with that. I realized I was making mistakes that I normally didn’t make.

“I began to feel my 79 years in ways that I didn’t expect to,” he said. “I was not feeling like getting up at 4 a.m. and going in. It was great fun, though. I enjoyed every day of it. I was in love with the station before I ever went to work there.”

Typical Saunders writing, starts talking about Jimmy and immediately jumps to another subject and then back, hope I never get that bad.

And for the record both Jimmy and Alex are great guys, I hope Jimmy has a long and healthy retirement.

Oh there's goes a butterfly

Oh yeah, for the first time this century we bought a boat (notice the second subject jumping in here?) but we'll talk about that later.

Read more here: http://www.newsobserver.com/2013/10/09/3267658/saunders-mornings-arent-the-same.html#storylink=cpy

Read more here: http://www.newsobserver.com/2013/10/09/3267658/saunders-mornings-arent-the-same.html#storylink=cpy

Read more here: http://www.newsobserver.com/2013/10/09/3267658/saunders-mornings-arent-the-same.html#storylink=cpy



Late In Early Out

 

Got home late last night and for the next few days I will be lapTOPLESS as the HP is in the shop in Ohio for a tuneup. Come on Windows 8.1 ...............................Off to Hampden-Sydney early this morning for Family Weekend!

Thought you might like the topless comment, bet that will get some hits.

Very productive week in..................well let's just say some northern states and leave it at that. I got an unexpected treat Wednesday night; we finished up in...............well a northern coastal state and took a ferry over to......................an island near NY. I didn't realize there was so much time to be saved by using this service. Little pricey and the sun was down by the time we landed, but a nice treat. Thursday morning we drove back to CT and I realized how much time that ferry saved.



As usual I ate my way through the week, had a couple of really good meals, OK, one really good meal late Wednesday night, and surprise surprise I was able to get a good night's sleep afterwards. Maybe that's the secret: eat a 2,000 calorie meal at 9:00 PM?

Anyway had to go through Atlanta on the way home tonight, not really hungry.....walking through the concourses looking at the same old same old, Oh look there's a Five Guys.......wish there was something different........Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyyyyy!

Big news next week, maybe

A Return to Normalcy?

Depends on your idea or conception of reality I guess, and who is to say what is normal and what is lunacy? As a certified madman I've seen plenty of people I could categorically acclaim as crazy, but very few that I think are operating on an even keel. Aren't we all just a little bit crazy?

So you know you were reading this when..........................

 You might have to enlarge this to read it, pretty funny recap of our nutty 50.

Certainly have a scatological theme this week don't you stink?

And now pictures of women bouncing on a trampoline:
Nope, just a before and after shot

This would be the after, looks kinda like a duck's ass

Well maybe not kinda. 

Rush starts today, can't wait. I remember when the 1976 Formula One title race was on, I didn't read a complete recap on the Japan GP until my next Road and Track came a couple of months later, then I read Hunt's book the next year. No ESPN back then; can't wait to see the movie. And speaking of Formula One always want to take the opportunity to say "screw Bernie Ecclestone" Thank you, I feel better

5:30 AM flight Monday morning, told you more are than aren't