June 25, 2010
Funny pictures

Funny ha-ha, not funny queer. Decided to go with a lighter touch this week; and without as much foul language and content. Hope you find these shots amusing:

One of my favorite pictures of Jackson when he was going through his "sniper" stage. He built this structure in our front yard in Sanford, and would sit in it waiting to pick off an unsuspecting enemy officer at any time. Although his kill ratio wasn't that good I can honestly say he kept Al-Qaeda off Shannon Drive effectively. The "sniper" stage came after his "burglar" phase. He kept us entertained with his imagination; I'm going to miss him when he goes to school in August. Football practice begins two weeks before school starts, so he will get a head start on other incoming freshmen.

I gained brownie points a few weekends ago by helping Terri clean out her office at White Oak Elementary. OK, I wasn't so much physical help as it was morale encouragement as I read children's books while she packed up; but I did open the door while she lugged the heavy boxes to the car. Anyway, while going through her books I found two Gideon New Testaments just like the ones you received as a child. Feeling a little cynical I challenged why these were in a public school and not the Koran. Hearing no verbal answer; just "sign language" indication my number one status with her, I decided to open the Bible to find out to whom it belonged.

What followed kind of reminds me when they found the words "Clinton Sucks" written in snow on the White House lawn in the 90's. The Secret Service told Clinton that it was written in urine, and that analysis indicated it was Al Gore's urine. Clinton laughed it off as a harmless prank until they told him it was Hillary's handwriting. Oh, forgot I was going to keep it clean this week, sorry. Anyway, I looked at the attached photo inside the Good Book; I think it's Jay's handwriting. Wonder if he will fess up? Must have caught him on a disagreeable day. Anyway, funny picture # 2

And yes Kevin, I remember the Weiner King in Roanoke Rapids, or as I like to call it "Chernobyl." Your father and I camped in the back of his truck on the Chowan River for a few days fishing, and I guess I was a little backed up from all of the beanie weenies, Vienna sausages, sardines, and Budwis..........I mean Pepsis. After visiting the accommodations at the Weiner King in Roanoke Rapids on the way home, they not only closed the restaurant, they razed the building. Supposedly the dirt from the foundation was transported to be used as landfill at Three Mile Island; you know the part that glows in the dark? Odd they still praise Beethoven's Third Movement from Moonlight Sonata some 200 years later, but I never hear anything about mine........................and it was historical. Sorry, forgot again that I was going to keep this clean.

Another graduation picture; this is especially funny as Rod was just given the estimated cost of 4 years' out of state tuition in California! Staci is one of the neatest young ladies I've ever known, and I know she will do well at whatever she attempts.

And lastly, a funny comic strip from last week. Argyle Sweater is close to The Far Side in offbeat humor so you know I like it. Those of you who know how much I enjoy interpretive dance, especially at church, and sometimes with partial nudity; will know why this was so funny to me. Dangit, forogt I was going to keep this clean(er).

Oh well, I'll try again next week.... I promise.

June 18, 2010
Rest In Peace Mudbone

We lost a good one this week; John Taylor passed away Monday night in Rocky Mount. He was not only a good friend and husband to my cousin, but truly someone with whom you always had fun; whether he was telling you a Richard Pryor story for the 50th time, or giving sage advice. We relied on him much more than we could ever thank him for helping with our parents, especially over the past few years. Betty Ruth and John were in Morehead last week to chauffeur Dink to Jackson's graduation, and again, we truly enjoyed their company. I can not remember ever being with John when I didn't enjoy his slightly offbeat and off color point of view, and usually with sore sides from laughing so hard. There is a big hole in my heart; he will be missed.

So I looked for a good picture of John, and decided on this one from his Facebook page. I like it for its simplicity; it looks like John is just sitting there waiting for the next bus; which I guess is what he has figuratively been doing this week.

During John's funeral one of the pastors asked forgiveness for doing something that might be a bit different for a funeral service. He said that if we were not willing to forgive him then we were welcome to leave right then. Therefore in John's memory, the humor in this blog is going to get a little rougher than normal, so I suggest that if you can not forgive my indiscretion in John's memory, then you should perhaps surf on over to another web site right now. Might I suggest www.screwyouifyoucanttakeajoke.com

FYI, I cleaned that joke up for you prudes

And, you are welcome to participate in the fun; there will be audience participation later.

On to other events; Jay and family were here last weekend; here is a shot of Cooper at the wheel of Nana's boat.

And a shot of Jackson a couple of years ago, notice any resemblance? Cooper's orange hat is a hand-me-down from his father to Jackson and now to Cooper. Years ago we would let our boys wander around Duke football games with that same hat on; no matter where they went in the stands we always knew where they were.
Cooper later petered out, and was doing this at 25 knots. Don't know if he's going to have salt in his blood or not, but we're trying.
Are you still there? Speaking of petering, OK, time for audience participation; insert your caption here.

Also from Pennsylvania, another funny sign. I've made a few of these, but never considered cooking with the energy generated by a few Heineken's, some pinto beans and onions; or whatever your personal magic recipe is. Again, any more ideas on captions are welcome.

So that's it from here on that old eastern shore. Get your red cups and Sharpies out, next week is Beach Week for the in-laws. OK, last chance to insert your caption here also. Terri has a seminar scheduled (how did she do that?) Should be real

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Don't forget to insert your own captions, and next week I'll clean it up a little, maybe

June 12, 2010
Oh what a week!

It was a great week indeed as we celebrated our young man's graduation and enjoyed a lot of time with friends and family.
Monday night we co-hosted a party at the Cader home on North River. What a view of Harkers Island and the light house. All of the kids had fun, and from what I saw the adults did as well.

One special guest was our new granddaughter Keelyn Marie Riley; ever so coy and demure as she went to her first big time party Friday night; the Keli Wagner Lady Anglers Party at our civic center. By all social accounts she was the belle of the ball.
Graduation !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now for some long awaited video; Jackson acts as cool as cool can get; listen carefully and you'll hear someone yell at him to "LOOKUPHERE" (3 Amigos joke, I'm thinking 3 of you will get that)

And then the silly string begins; there was so much that the offensive odor was really strong even up where we were sitting. Or at least that is my story and by all acouunts I stuck to it.

And then it was time to REALLY party, and dance like it is 1999, or something like that. Now I promised the young lady in this video that I would not put it on YouTube with her name on it, and I haven't. But after the week we've had I can't help but show it here, and use it to celebrate a wonderful time. Enjoy, and no no no you teetotalers out there, no alcohol was used to stimulate this dance of happiness; a wonderful lady having a wonderful time on a wonderful night!

(video removed after dramatic family pressure.awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww)

Off to PA (yuk, Sunday travel) in PA, NJ, MD and VA through Wednesday

June 4, 2010
Sorry Kristi(e), it's all about me

If you tuned in to see a cute picture of my sweet niece Kristi(e) then I apologize. I have one tuned up and ready, but this post is all about ME. But enough about me, what do you think about me?

On to this past week, up in Portsmouth OH this week for a customer's grand opening. This is a new type of location in that it has both a contractors and a retail side. Portsmouth is a small town so I hope Lute will be able to fill the Lowes/Home Depot void. Shhhhhhh, don't say anything. Skuttle was welcomed on their impressive sign for a Tuesday evening reception and an open house Wednesday.

After the open house I drove to Falling Waters WV, famous for being the hometown of TJ Jackson; but also the location where Pvt (CSA) John W. Riley was captured, and General Pettigrew was killed in July, 1863. I asked around, no one remembered our great grandfather. I got up early Thursday morning and headed for an APR open house in New Oxford, PA. Of course I had to drive through one of my favorite places, and observe the North Carolina high water mark of the Confederacy, the Bloody Angle, and Little Round Top. Certainly one of the landmark areas which made our country.

Saw a pretty rainbow Thursday evening and pulled over to take a picture. Nice, huh? Grandma said to make sure and enjoy these; you don't know when you'll see another one. That's a lot nicer story than the one my Sunday School teachers taught me when I was a kid....that one scared the hell out of me.
And hats off to Mr. Jim Joyce and Mr. Armando Galarraga. This incident may be a good thing for baseball as it showed good sportsmanship and understanding. The knee jerk reaction calling for instant replay is superficial; the real story is in the actions of the participants, not the "fans." I mentioned in my tweet this should be required viewing for all amateur athletes' parents. The constant griping I've witnessed over the past 25 years from the stands becomes more childish, boorish, but yet in my old age amusing every year. Come on folks; they are games designed for children to get exercise and enjoy it. Try not to have a cardiac over it. Now on the other hand, NASCAR..............well I've rambled enough on this subject.

And last, my new superfoe, the black ant. I had a little incident last fall when I got up at 430AM and proceeded to argue with my bed partner over my unscheduled wakeup time. I looked outside, saw the paper had indeed been delivered, and proceeded to retrieve it. By the time I poured my milk on my cereal I had some odd symptoms; dizzy, feverish, sweating....why I thought I was in love (actually I am). I was bitten by something on top of my foot, thought it must have been a spider. Well guess what? Last Saturday while working in the yard I saw one of these bite me. Not a fire ant, not a spider, not a hybrid Godzilla-type superant; no.................. a black ant. Within minutes the same type of symptoms appeared, I went in the house and asked Terri for some benedryl tablets. After she looked at me she called 911; the EMTs were there within a few minutes (sorry the details are a little fuzzy, I don't recall exactly what happened). They put me in the ambulance, hooked me up to an EKG, supplied some oxygen and observed my vital signs whcih were all good. Although I felt really bad the medicine worked quickly and they let me out. I felt like I had the flu for the rest of the day, but much better on Sunday. All because of this super-villain!

And so an eventful comes to an end, but with a fun weekend and week planned. Jackson will enjoy Senior Sunday at church, give the closing prayer at the Baccalaureate Sunday evening, a few parties and then graduation Thursday night! Jay, Holly, Cooper and Keelyn will be here from Wednesday through the weekend, and the Big Rock Keli Wagner Lady Anglers party is next Friday! Whew, I'll be worn out.

Have a good weekend

Oh, guess it was all about you Kristi(e)