Texas

(warning: this blog has been rated R (Restricted – under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian)

Everything is bigger in Texas

Having a productive week in the West, got a lot done, got a lot to do, and now will be travelling each week through July. I thought this was going to be the summer of George, sitting around with a big hunk of cheese..............

And speaking of food, I have tried plenty this week and each meal has been great. I went into a Mexican restaurant with a high Urban Spoon rating Wednesday that did not offer alcohol. Had salmon and ribs at the boss' house Tuesday night, a Mexican reception for me at my rep's office Thursday, even found an In-N-Out Thursday night. I'm thinking I will run home tonight rather than take the plane, maybe I can work off half of those additional calories.

Among my many other bad characteristics (TAR has a 1,000 page book listing just a few of mine if you'd like a copy it's on Amazon) I have the dietary habits of a twelve year old, but I didn't eat these:

Proud of me aren't you? I saw this picture in a Fort Worth restaurant Wednesday, tell me your first thought when you read his name...

Yeah, I thought the same thing. Fortunately I was on my way out of the restaurant so they didn't have to toss me out, and I'll just bet I wasn't the first one to sing that at the top of my lungs, well maybe I was the first one so off key?

Before you say in your urban voice "oh no you didn't" no I didn't. I decided on the Japanese weinerschnitzel, it had a whimsical taste but after digestion they united in a distrustful axis and decided to try to take over my world. Too soon?

An actual sign seen in Dallas, care to make a joke or two, three, four? I'll get you started:

• Can I use your fitting room?
• What do you mean you only have an off-premises license? That is soooooooooooo retro
• Having a sale this weekend, the sign says "come one come all"
• Thinking about buying a new one, do you take trade-ins? OK, I'll try to sell it on Craig's List.

Fill in your one-liners in the comments section. That should just about offend everyone and if I did, sorry. That is a real sign for a real store in Dallas and I couldn't resist.

Maryland, DC, and who knows where next week, and then the day when our nation celebrates our biggest birthday, yes Jay turns 34 on the 5th.