December 30, 2011
Master Dong?

A new neighbor to Morehead City, please welcome Master Dong, or is it Grandmaster Dong? Either way he's a hell of a Dong.

.....................always said, you can't write stuff as funny as what you see around you if you just take time to look.
And speaking of funny looking things, we all had a good time at Christmas. In-laws and out-laws gathered here and there to swap presents, insults, and just blatant lies. I of course led the pack. We all got through it without too many fights, shootings and muggings, although there was one cousin who was packing a boxcutter just in case. Luckily there was no case, although an obviously inebriated Uncle Darth Vadar kept telling everyone that "he felt their presents." We had a good time even though we are all dealing with a few empty seats. We go on.

TAR must have been a really good girl, or is that a really bad girl I forget..........because she got an I-pad. She has really enjoyed playing with it, much to the delight of our children we've taken Face Time to a new level.

Skuttle was closed this week and here it is Friday morning and I haven't gotten 1/10th of my catchup work done. Hell's bells, but it has been a restful week anyway. Jackson returned his second degree of Masonry Tuesday night and is now ready to be raised to Master Mason next Tuesday night. We went to a high school basketball game/fight, played some golf,and plan to fish today.
A High old time is planned for Saturday night as the one and only Fishin Optishin and wife invade Morehead City for an evening of fun and debauchery. Once again for the (insert unknown year amount here, want to take a guess?) consecutive time we will hopefully stay awake long enough to welcome in 2012. At some point we need to actually figure out how long we've been doing this; I date it to 1985 or 1986. Gets harder and harder to stay awake each year......... Watch the news to see how good a time we have.
And in honor or Bart Rittner's passing; "walk good everybody"
Happy new year and best wishes for a prosperous and healthy 2012.

December 23, 2011
Zip Ah Dee Doo Dahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I know you're busy with last minute Christmas stuff so I'll be brief:
Great week on the cold eastern shore; had to go to New Bern for some banking business for Dink and was able to ride the old motorcycle. Got rid of a lot of paper on my desk. I'm not a tree-hugger but have really started tuning in to how much paper we use spreading information. I could save Wells Fargo a couple of million easily..............
Happy Festivus for the rest of us. Grab your stainless pole and let the Airing of the Grievances begin, and I have a lot of problems with you people!
Now, on to the Zip Mart to buy TAR's present.
Oh and the procedure: clean as a whistle so that's very good news. want to look at a picture from my colonoscopy?
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You really did scroll down didn't you? Sorry to disappoint you but there is no picture. I find it interesting you looked though..................
They put Daddy's marker up this week so we'll run Dink by there Saturday morning, then to Durham and Clayton and back home. Christmas is here Sunday morning, the Sanford crew will be here for a couple of days and then a week away from the office, well sort of; still have plenty of catching up to do before the new year.
Merry Christmas to all

December 16, 2011
Christmas Is Coming!

Ready or not, Christmas is right around the corner. Another week of travel hustling Skuttle products to anyone who will listen; left Monday, spent quality time with Jackson at a truck stop outside Emporia, VA, then worked in MD, PA, NJ, back to MD and VA and home late last night. Not a bad week, now ready for the holidays.
Took Dink to the Christmas parade last Saturday. We set up on the railroad tracks across from the church, the parade lasted nearly an hour. It's fun to be near the beginning, the USMC band always starts by playing the Marine Hymn. I can't help but remember Gomer singing that with a bucket on his head..............this here's my favorite part. Anyway, I haven't had the opportunity to take either or my grandchildren to a parade yet, but I got a good idea of what that will be like last week. It was fun watching Dink point out things to everyone around, you know like "here comes a float" and "wonder who that is? Oh he's the mayor" "where is that band from? Oh there it says it on the banner"..........yeah, things like that. And fun for the nearby seven year old girl turned grandma-sitter as Dink begged for candy being thrown from the floats. Yep, good times; actually it was, wore her out for the day
At every parade I can't help but think about the Booker T. Washington band from years gone by. Might not be PC but it was a lot of fun watching that band. Seems like Rod Hoell got in a little trouble for imitating them when we were in junior high..................

After the parade I worked in the office most of Saturday, but had the television on and caught some of the Army-Navy game. As usual I couldn't tell you the score or much about the game but I always try to catch that. Not too interested in sports these days, I'm in jazz and felt berets...........sorry, lost my train of thought there...........great to see those young people on the field and in the stands. Great game
Saw this in MD, all for you Jackson. Great motto for a bar

And this from outside Portsmouth OH, but then again much of the world is thankfully outside Portsmouth OH. Nothing makes me want to eat OH BBQ (if there is such a thing) like looking at a pig's ass crack hanging out of a pair of blue jeans. Yes, the name is Southern Moon

Ever been fishing here? Ever been fishing with me? Then you probably have fished here, enjoy those speckled trout. And this is an actual photograph. If you know me you know I'm not smart enough to PhotoShop this. It's between Columbus and Portsmouth

Did you know that that NASA's Voyager 1 was launched in 1977 and is now leaving the solar system and entering the Milky Way? It is traveling at 11 miles per second and is nearly 12 BILLION miles from the sun. Among other things inside of Voyager is a gold plated copper phonograph record with greetings from Earth and photographs. Wonder if other living beings will be able to find an old stereo to play it? Blows my mind, but so do a lot of things lately. Such as Durham author Michael Peterson getting a new trial.............wonder if that murderous owl is still alive and can tell us whoooooooooooo really did it? Sorry, couldn't resist that, too easy.
And while I'm pondering deep thoughts does anyone know why New Jersey always smells like Right Guard deodorant? Guess that is funny, and I guess I meant for it to be, but seriously, why?
Home for a couple of weeks, should be a fun time with family. Who knows what other trouble we can get into? Next week I'll tell you about my pre-Christmas "procedure" but I promise without pictures. Stay tuned.............................

December 9, 2011
Centerville or Circleville

One year ago I was landing in NYC looking down into Central Park and wondering what John Lennon would be like in his 70's if a madman had stayed home and watched Monday Night Football. What a shame. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a rotten banana.
Last Sunday afternoon I visited a small creek of the Neuse River and caught a few small speckled trout. Very therapeutic end to a stressful week; I've had quite a few of those lately with more coming.
Left the right coast early Monday morning and worked my way across central NC and up into Farmville VA in time to watch and participate in a ceremony involving Jackson. He returned his Entered Apprentice and received his Fellowcraft degrees. Pretty work there young man.
Then up to OH for a few days. Cold weather is here. Back to Portsmouth OH today, then Charleston WV and on home. Been a long week, going to be a long day but worthwhile as of this morning.
Francis Dietz from northern VA provided this chart which describes uhhhhhhhh someone's sense of humor. Well said Francis, now let's get to work on that Red Sox problem you have

OK, Free Masonry, eternal damnation, probably have already offended most of my readers so let's go for the remaining group: saw this in my hotel Thursday morning. Wonder why this tribe didn't have this meeting at the country club? Once again I know I am missing something, but that is a feeling with which I find myself more comfortable every day.

Home for paperwork over the weekend and then off to MD and beyond Monday morning. Hope I have enough clean underwear. And oh yes, Centerville or Circleville? When you are driving south from Columbus OH at 8:00 PM on a dark wintry night it is worth your while to know which bulging metropolis you are heading, it can add a lot of time and embarrassment to your trip otherwise.

December 2, 2011
Are You Kidding?

Got on a US Airways flight Wednesday, after we took off a co-pilot Roger Murdock informed us of our flying time and whatever else they were doing in the cockpit. Wait a second, co-pilot Roger Murdock? After we landed in Detroit I asked about co-captain Roger Murdock, the guy in the cockpit laughed and said "there he goes" towards a pilot walking away. I said "I thought he was a seven foot black guy" Here's a little travel tip; that's not the first thing you should say when you land in Detroit. True story
Last weekend Jackson had his license plate stolen while at the dealership having service work performed. We called the Morehead City police, were a little disappointed we didn't get the hot cop we saw earlier, filed a report and got instructions on how to make a temporary tag and file for a new one. Because he was worried about being pulled with the homemade tags Jackson wanted to drive the Jeep back, but I convinced him he would be better off with the CRV. Later Sunday he was pulled for going 83 MPH; Merry Christmas Jackson!
Looking through the newspaper earlier this week I saw that on this day in history famed actor Cary Grant died in 1986. I liked several of his movies, especially the one with Myrna Loy (make panting noises here) about a home purchase and remodel in Connecticut. What a gentleman, always played the bon vivant to a T; what the hell was he doing in Davenport Iowa? That is kind of an old joke with those of us who travel frequently as part of our jobs; we will not likely die in a warm comfortable bed at home, more likely a Holiday Inn Express in BumFart Arkansas. Hope it's not in Davenport Iowa
Speaking of which, my room in Grand Rapids Michigan last night featured a spiral staircase. No kidding, went up the stairs and there was a Russian hooker up there working. No that was a joke, she was Mexican. OK, I made that part up, but here is a picture of my room.

The new Muppets movie is rated PG.

According to an article in USA Today yesterday Jackson is the second most popular male baby name in the USA today; whoa spiral vortex...............................and yet is was different when we used it twenty years ago

From Stephen Colbert: "I can't believe Barney Frank is stepping down. I wonder where he'll tax and spend his retirement years." Funny guy, tell us about that all boys school in Virginia you attended Stephen

Another quote, this one from Jim Gaffigan: "Lack of knowledge is my Achilles' knee"
But this person did not suffer from a lack of knowledge, or at least a complete lack of knowledge. Can you name all three of the tattoo subjects?

Now go back to the title of this week's entry and insert it into each subject covered in this blog.
OK I'm done for the morning, working my way back to Detroit this afternoon, 530 flight home, off to Virginia and Ohio all of next week. If this made you smile pass this blog on to a friend, or a couple of hundred

November 25, 2011
Happy Thanksgiving

I remember TAR's grandmother's Thanksgiving offering during Grace many years ago:" I'm thankful I can still use the bathroom." Amen Bubba.
Another busy week capped off my a feast at Tim and Lynn's estate outside Smithfield. Dink went with us and had a large time. I know I have eaten enough to see me through liberation day at the concentration camp now.
TAR returns today; Jay and Holly are coming this morning, and Jackson and I will try to catch some supper. Wish us luck.
Fished with an old Sanford friend last Saturday. We chased Fat Alberts throughout the Atlantic Ocean, and only slid one over the gunnel, but he was a beau. Nice work Randy Mann; 10-12 pounds plus. Beatuiful fish and a great day on the ocean.

Ringing the Salvation Army bell at the Wal-Mart Monday, VW service in Greenville Tuesday, and then off to Michigan through the rest of the week.
Did I forget anything? Oh yeah; happy 57th to SWMBO

November 18, 2011
Florida Trip

Time for TAR and I to get away and spend a little time together, it's been a while. Left last Saturday for Bonita Springs, FL, made it to Daytona that night, nice upgrade to an oceanfront room on the 12th floor. Thank you Holiday Inn Priority Club. We got in about sunset, looked at the moon coming up over the ocean and immediately knew what our dinner choice would be......................

You can't hide class. Yeah, by the time I took the picture 2 were missing
Off to our AHRI meeting, I made a mental note of where the cougars were...........only to find out later they were panthers, not cougars. Hope those scratches heal before next year's swimwear season.

As always with AHRI the meeting was time well spent. and a lot of fun mixed in. If anyone wants to know how to run a meeting call me and I will get you in touch with the best.
While TAR shopped Tuesday afternoon I went out in the Everglades and made some new friends. I asked for an endorsement for a line of knit shirts, got no where with that. Really neat to get into the swamp and see these guys, always surprised at how dark they are.

Home in time, funny how I call a hotel "home"...................... for a cocktail party, yes, go figure....but also in time for a sunset that was unreal. I've been taking pictures of these things all of my life and still realize "oh this is good, this is better, this is the best" Wonder if Anyone else ever thinks the same?

One great plus from this trip was the elimination (pun, get it?) of many minutes, nay hours sitting in a parking lot waiting for you know who. I figure with this contraption, and convincing SWMBO to crawl out of the window at 75 MPH Sundance Kid style, I could shave hours off a trip. I think it is a wonderful idea and dub this contraption the Double Header. Any other thoughts for a name?

And this is in here because I like the picture. Funny I remember this day, I took Daddy to ride, Jackson was working in the parking lot at the Sheraton, I handed him the camera and told Daddy to wave. If that doesn't make you laugh I don't know what will. I miss that old car....................and that old fellow too.

So that's in from this old eastern shore, this year will be a very different but happy Thanksgiving. We're talking a food blog, food blog, food blog..................................

November 11, 2011
Veteran's Day

Last weekend my planned Hampden-Sydney motorcycle ride was changed due to rain, and the fact that my horns decided to quit working. Not as easy to fix as you might think; still going through the old bike with a multimeter. Got to be a short in here somewhere...........................In the by and by I'll just ride around with a freon horn and a whistle in my mouth. Hmmmm, better get that fixed.
Drove up to Durham and spent Friday night with the Highs and was as usual treated like royalty. Ate well, watched the truck race and exchanged lies with the FO. Good times indeed.
The next morning up for the short drive to Hampden-Sydney. Saw this guy sitting next to us, looked a little familiar. Recognize him? Look like anyone you know ?

Odd to be at a football game sitting with Jackson. They beat Washington & Lee and won the conference championship. Jackson admitted he "kinda" wished he played this year, but that is a whole lot of work. Think this week's game with Macon is important? Take a look at this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gh9kEvu2f1Q

Take special notice around 1:16 of a good looking # 83 from Morehead City
Took off for VA and MD this week; this was my view Wednesday morning from my hotel. Made me wish I'd checked in before 9:00 PM that night. Pretty area

And this was my view Thursday morning. Made me think of old Everett Lytle from Trion daze. Worked with Burch Vickery and enjoyed a meal very late Wednesday night at my favorite restaurant. If you remember an earlier post they are still looking for the cockatoo but the picture below it has been removed.

Last Sunday I rode the motorcycle down to Cedar Island and back, 103 miles. Coming through Davis I saw this elusive wild creature which is proclaimed by many as the wiliest of all God's hunted creatures. He was walking down US 70. If you look closely you can see a "turkey crossing" sign in the background by the utility pole. A friend of mine shot a zebra in Africa last summer; I asked him if he fed him a sugar cube or an apple as he put a pistol in his ear; guess you need to feed this guy some corn?

And TAR and I are heading to FL Saturday for the annual AHRI meeting in Bonita Springs.
http://www.ahrinet.org/
For the first time in a long time I am not on the board! Committee work in two meetings should be productive, and maybe spend a little time in the sun Monday afternoon.
My numbers are down, send this blog to others!

November 4, 2011
Somewhere Chris Turns 57 Today

Oh grandchildren; it is so much fun to teach them while they're young and impressionable.

In town for Halloween, only had a few children to come by, and I had ice cubes ready for all of them. Turn down the lights and they love the noise ice cubes make hitting the bottoms of their little bags, now to clean up that egg splatter. Pygmy and I used to give away ice, hot dogs and old biscuits for Halloween. Man I'd like to have some of those biscuits now.
Then it was off to the big cities around Raleigh. I wasn't able to get a room at the Y; well I was able to get a room, but not the preferred corner room so I saved some cash for Skuttle and crashed with my grandson in Sanford. He is an interesting young man; I enjoy my time with him more and more. And my granddaughter smiled at me. Good times sleeping in Jackson's old bunk beds. I remember my father sleeping below Jackson years ago and Jackson talking his ears off after bedtime. Good memories.
Yeah, I don't know what this is, saw it close to my customer in Rocky Mount and found it intriguing; sorry I will not be able to attend although Las Vegas is betting my eyes will be red Thursday night.

And guess what? No not that. Got a little, no a lot of free publicity for dear old Skuttle this past week in The HVAC News:

http://www.achrnews.com/articles/117907-distributor-serves-customers-in-a-famous-way

Glad I said the right things. Maybe I didn't say the right things but Mike Murphy made it sound like I did. He's a good guy with a great publication, known him for many years now and always been first class; especially considering I'm with a small company which doesn't advertise in his publication.
If the weather allows I'll be cycling today to Durham and then on to HSC Saturday for their showdown with Washington and Lee. Winner takes the conference championship so say it with me: winner winner chicken dinner.
Maryland and Virginia next week and then off to somewhere close to Naples Saturday for an industry meeting. More on that next week, enjoy the ride

October 28, 2011
Man! it's Been A Week

Time warp going on this week in the office; hard to believe and comprehend how much happened in the space of a couple of weeks. We all have another big hole in our hearts.
Got the Pony Express started at church last Sunday; during the breakfast I massaged the Pony Express logo saddlebag and asked if everyone could hear me, I was feeling a little horse...............
At the end of he service I inspired the crew with those famous words given to us by Hedy Lamarr (that's Hedley!) to go do that voodoo that you do so well! The pastor looked at me and asked if I "planned" to use that during the 11:00 worship service; I hadn't.
Might be hard to believe but all of that was true
It was humorous to sit in church during the 11:00 service and hear the Associate Pastor announce that "Terri Riley's husband passed away last Sunday." I felt like Tom Sawyer there for a minute, hey wait a minute, does that mean I don't owe anyone money anymore? Guess not..........but the spontaneous celebration kind of pissed me off. Come on, who brings horns, confetti and party poppers to church anyway? Oh they do? My bad, sorry, I apologize to all of my friends and family in that tribe
After church I needed some head clearing so I took off on my old bike and motored to the Cherry Point ferry. From Arapahoe I went some way, not really sure which way but I ended up in Hobucken. It has been a really long time since I was there, they have replaced the drawbridge with a high rise. It has been so long I was not sure where we used to put the boat in; I found a place that has a landing but I still am not sure that was the place. I remember as a kid those mosquitoes were the absolute worst. Sunday as I pulled up to the ICW and took my helmet off I was swarmed by some flying objects the size of small honey bees. Yep, mosquitoes! Unreal.
Ended up in Oriental, and unbeknown to me at the time had my picture taken, well not my picture, but one of that old bike I ride. I must have been in the head at the coffee shop. Tank has a 175 mile range, my bladder goes for about 150.

It was a good ride although my left carburetor developed a slight leak at idle. There is a quick and easy fix (sometimes) to that problem; a strategically placed whack to the side with a heavy wrench frees the float and stops the leak. It has not leaked since Sunday.
Able to fish Wednesday morning for a few hours; low winds prompted my half-day of vacation. Unfortunately the fish did not cooperate. Went offshore to a couple of reefs with minimal results. It simply has not been a good year for fishing. But there is nothing I can do about the results, I remind myself to enjoy the efforts. It is all about the ride.
And ride I did! Thursday I went to Jacksonville to sign some VW papers (in the shop all month) and decided to keep going. Ended up at the Skylight Inn in Ayden. I don't know if that is the best BBQ I've ever eaten or not; but I can't recall better. Whole hog over coals, not a lot added. The slaw is OK, the cornbread is as close to Grandma's as you can get. If they could just put a little more crust on the edges.....................is your mouth watering? Bet it is!

October 21, 2011
Wow, That Was Fast

Like a lot of other people in Richmond County I was surprised at how quickly my father-in-law passed. But he did, after a tough few nights he slipped away at 1:10 PM Sunday. We had a viewing Monday night, and beautiful funeral Tuesday, and back to work on Wednesday. I was very proud of my niece who gave the eulogy. Jackson also did a mature job tending to his grandfather; he cared for him and stayed in his room all Saturday night and watched Sunday as he took his last breath. Pretty heavy stuff for a 20 year old, he did well.
So we will miss Harold, but like I said.....we go back to work. I passed that "wisdom" on to my brother-in-law a couple of weeks ago. I remember as a child I spent a lot of time in the city library. OK, I know a lot of you just threw the bullshit flag but I did. I used to read the newspapers from WW II and was always surprised to find that during total worldwide war, Belks had a sale. And someone got married. And someone was arrested for public drunkenness. And the bank board of directors met and conducted business.................the world keeps spinning.
At some point in my career with Emerson Electric I needed ankle surgery. My boss told me not to worry about the surgery, take my time with feeling better, and come back when I could. He told me that I had to remember that if I died today Emerson Electric would be open the next day. They might be sad, they might feel sorry for my wife and child, but they would be open for business without missing a beat. The world keeps spinning, 1000 mph on our axis, 66,000 mph around the sun as the entire solar system zips through the universe at 155 miles per second. It is all we can do to hang on.
I'll miss you Harold, you were a good man.

And now for that silliness you tuned in for...............
Took this picture last month in the Phoenix airport. WHAT? Shut the front door! Get the fluff out of here...........................

Pony Express starts Sunday. Oh and just for the record, I had surgery that Friday morning, checked out of the hospital Sunday morning and went to work the next Monday. I thought that if they knew what little I did they might fire me.........................
Sorry about the cursing Harold, I couldn't help myself; but you knew that already

October 14, 2011
Not Going To Be A Good Weekend

I think I will use capital letters and quotation marks to excess this week.
Last weekend was pretty nice. TAR went to Rockingham to visit with her father and the FO came down for some windy fishing. Our plans did not come off as ......................hmmm, redundant? Anyway the wind blew so we adapted. We caught some pretty fish in the inlet, enough for Bobby to take home 10+ pounds of filets, including one legal flounder! Have not seen many of those around in a while.

A good time was had, and then we saw this group in the No Wake Turning Basin going pretty fast. Look closely, these are not the guys you would want to yell "DEATH TO THE INFIDELS" to, or only once if you did. One guy made a "no wake" comment on 16 which brought a few chuckles.

Later we were up in the Haystacks and saw these guys speeding through. I could not help but notice their "I AM GOING TO SHOOT YOU" clothes they were wearing. Thanks guys, the world is a safer place because of you.

After FO left for home I rode 160 miles on the bike. Came through Trenton and saw an old mill pond which was destroyed and is now rebuilt. I remember that place from my teens, always wanted to fish in it and now at 56 still do. Maybe that should be on my bucket list.....let's see, add "fish pond in Trenton", scratch off "astronaut." Got it!

We went tombstone shopping Wednesday, picked out a nice one. On the way home Dink said she had never seen this, now she has. I noticed she took out her bucket list and scratched off "see CSS Neuse" and added "astronaut." That was coincidental.

And my father-in-law's health continues to decline. We will all be in Rockingham this weekend, and we will see what happens next. Ask a prayer for Harold Matthews

October 7, 2011
Had Better Weeks But Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

In Richmond for a doctor's appointment with Jackson this week, went for a late lunch afterwards and ended up near some of our distributors (not the finest of Richmond's old neighborhoods). While heading for Buz and Ned's BBQ joint (http://www.buzandneds.com/) we saw a used car lot. Circled back and found some old classics; cars you just do not seem to find on the streets everyday.
Nice MGA

Datsun S-2000; many people do not remember this economy sports car Datsun produced in the late 60's. Many people reading this do not know who Datsun is...................................

And Jackson sitting in a Lotus Esprit S4; first one of these I have ever seen. The S4 version had increased horsepower and a rear wing. Very Italian looking, not British at all. Hard to get that smile of Jackson's face; did not stop grinning until he sat in his Honda CRV, then reality set back in.

Oh, and the awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww? Yes our grandchildren were in town for the NC Seafood Festival last weekend. Cooper had his throttle wired to the floorboard and Keelyn stared at me a lot, and a good time was had by all. We spent a lot of Saturday downtown at the festival, along with 100,000 others; then the kids went back down at night to see Sister Hazel. I heard the audience singalongs were a little lacking; maybe next time they can use a karaoke screen behind them? Pictured below: Keelyn being very excited to see her Cappy!

She is pretty isn't she? Lucky she looks like her sweet Mama. Notice the earrings?
FO is coming down to fish Saturday, getting closer to the Pony Express kickoff at church in a couple of weeks, busy busy busy.
Taking Dink to Rocky Mount Wednesday to pick out a tombstone. What do you want on your tombstone? Want to meet us there? Should be fun