OK One More Take On This Mess

One week later I am still beyond irate, however, I have come to grips with the new champion based on one overlooked fact:

Driver	Season(s)	Total
Nelson Piquet	1987	1
Ayrton Senna	1988, 1990–1991	3
Alain Prost	1989	1
Max Verstappen	2021	1

This is the first Honda driver's championship since 1991, and as you can see, that one was a special one!

So congratulations to the soon to be gone Honda engine builders, and be sure to tune in next week for a very special return to the macabre featuring an unbelievable obituary "unearthed" by #2 son.

OK I Changed My Mind

I said I was finished talking about the Dubai race, well I guess I wasn't. I read this today and it was so well written I have to share it.

Susie Wolff weighed in with

"Going into the race weekend in Abu Dhabi, I believed both teams and both drivers deserved to win. It was going to be a spectacle, a historic race that we all hoped would end without controversy. That wasn’t to be.

What happened is still hard to comprehend and leaves me with a sick feeling. Not the losing - and not Max or RedBull - they are deserving winners and we always knew it was a strong possibility we may not win - but the way in which Lewis was robbed has left me in utter disbelief.

The decision of one person within the governing body who applied a rule in a way that has never been done before in F1 single-handedly decided the F1 Driver World Championship. Rules are rules, they can’t be changed on a whim by one individual at the end of a race.

Lewis Hamilton you have shown incredible integrity and dignity in the face of injustice. You are the greatest there has ever been. The outcome of the last laps on Sunday? Those who know, they know, even those who can’t quite bring themselves to admit it.

Congratulations Max and congratulations to each and every member of Mercedes-AMG Petronas Formula One Team on your record-breaking eighth constructor's title - I hope by March of next year there is a governing body with sporting integrity and fairness at its core so I can fall back in love with F1."

Well said, thank you. 

And That Is All I Have To Say About That

From WIKI:

During the 2021 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix, Masi was involved in a safety car procedure controversy. On lap 56 of the race, during which Lewis Hamilton was leading, it was deemed that lapped cars would not be allowed to retake their lap, but abruptly on lap 57, Masi changed the decision. He however only allowed the five cars directly in front of championship contender Max Verstappen to unlap themselves before the restart. This allowed Verstappen, who had pitted into soft tyres, a chance to overtake Hamilton, and with that win the 2021 World Drivers' Championship. Mercedes protested the race result, on the grounds that Masi did not follow the correct procedure, by arbitrarily allowing the cars directly in front of Verstappen to unlap themselves, and no others, despite initially rejecting requests from Red Bull to do so. The team argued that this was a breach of Article 48.12 of the 2021 FIA Formula One Sporting Regulations, and if procedure was followed, it would have secured Hamilton's 8th Worlds Drivers' Championship. The protest was rejected.

Masi's decisions were criticized on social media and by racing drivers as unusual and to contrive excitement. Former world champion Damon Hill noted that the decision appeared without precedent, stating that it was "a new way of running the sport, where the Race Director can make these ad hoc decisions". Former world champion Nico Rosberg felt that Masi "did not follow the rules" and that Christian Horner demanding "one more lap of racing" to Masi via radio was inappropriate. McLaren driver Daniel Ricciardo commented that Masi's decision to let other drivers unlap, but not him, was unusual.

Williams driver George Russell criticized the events, stating that it was "absolutely unacceptable".[20] McLaren driver Lando Norris suggested that the decision was made to create an entertaining finish to the race, and "made for TV".[21] Writing for Fox Sports, Jack Austin stated that F1 "engineered" the finish to increase viewer excitement. Jordan Bianchi of The Athletic echoed a similar sentiment, suggesting that Masi's decision was to ensure that "Netflix gets another juicy storyline for the next season of Drive to Survive" and questioned his capability in effectively officiating a race.

The FIA defended Masi's decision, stating that the Race Director has the "overriding authority" to amend any rule regarding safety car procedure as they wish.

Mercedes announced their intentions to appeal under article 15 of the International Sporting Code and Article 10 of the FIA's Judicial and Disciplinary Code.

 Yes, This Is A Christmas Story!

..............if you grew up in Rocky Mount.

In eastern North Carolina we like to tell stories and every now and then one of them is true. 

You have no doubt heard many beautiful Christmas stories, mostly about the birth of Christ. Some are updated, about how soldiers in the Civil War through WW2 would sing Christmas carols across no man's land, excuse me while I wipe a tear from the corner of my eye. Others might feature a family coming back together in time for Christmas Eve. Hallmark has introduced us to a new genre about, well, I don't know what they are about, I just know they start in August. One of my favorite secular stories is about Kris Kringle at Macy's. And then there are the Griswold adventures with whom many of us can identify.

But this morning I remember one of the most sentimental stories of all, and yes, it came out of eastern NC. What you say? Yes, the story of Horace the mule. I am already swelling up with a saline solution in my eyes just thinking about it. So here for your reading pleasure, is the story of Horace the mule. Please share it with all of your family, especially the toddlers:

The story of the ill-fated adventures of Horace the Mule, made famous by the late Edmund Harding of Washington, was the topic of a column by Vernon Sechriest, who was managing editor of the Evening Telegram for many years before his death in 1990. It became a holiday favorite in the Rocky Mount area.

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Mrs. George Wood, now deceased, of Chowan County had a mule who was named Horace. On Christmas Eve she called up Dr. Satterfield in Edenton and said to him, “Doctor, Horace is sick, and I wish you would come take a look at him.”

Dr. Satterfield said, “Oh Fannie Lamb, it’s after 6 o’clock, and I’m eating supper. Give him a dose of mineral oil, and if he isn’t all right in the morning, phone me, and I’ll come out and take a look at him.”

“How’ll I give it to him?,” she inquired.

“Through a funnel,” replied the good doctor.

“But, he might bite me,” she protested.

“Oh, Fannie Lamb — you’re a farm woman, and you know about these things. Give it to him through the other end.”

So Fannie Lamb went out to the barn, and there stood Horace, with his head held down, just moaning and groaning.

She looked around for a funnel, but the nearest thing she could see to one was her Uncle Bill’s fox hunting horn, hanging on the wall, a beautiful gold-plated instrument with gold tassels hanging from it.

She took the horn and affixed it properly. Horace paid no attention.

Then she reached up on the shelf where medicines for the farm animals were kept. But instead of picking up the mineral oil, she picked up a bottle of turpentine and she poured a liberal dose into the horn.

Horace raised his head with a sudden jerk.

He let out a yell that could have been heard a mile away.

He reared up on his hind legs, brought his front legs down, knocked out the side of the barn, jumped a 5-foot fence and started down the road at a mad gallop.

Now Horace was in pain, so every few jumps he made, that horn would blow.

All the dogs in the neighborhood knew that when that horn was blowing it meant that Uncle Bill was going fox hunting. So down the highway they went, close behind Horace.

(Editor's note: As Gomer Pyle said, this here is my favorite part)

It was a marvelous sight. First, Horace — running at top speed; the horn, in a most unusual position, the mellow notes issuing therefrom; the tassels waving; and the dogs, barking joyously.

They passed by the home of Old Man Harvey Hogan, who was sitting on his front porch, well into the cups as they say down east. He hadn’t drawn a sober breath in 15 years, and he gazed in fascinated amazement at the sight that unfolded itself before his eyes.

Incidentally, Harvey is now head man of Alcoholics Anonymous in the Albemarle section of the state.

By this time it was good and dark. Horace and the dogs were approaching the Chowan River Bridge.

The bridgetender heard the horn blowing and figured a boat was approaching. So he hurriedly went out and elevated the bridge.

Horace went over the edge, straight into the river and was drowned. The dogs jumped into the water, but they could swim and climbed out without much difficulty.

Now it so happened that the bridgetender was running for the office of sheriff of Chowan County, but he managed to get only seven votes.

The people figured that any man who didn’t know the difference between a mule with a horn up his rear and a boat coming down the Inland Waterway wasn’t fit to hold any public office in Chowan County.

Who picked up on the irony of the farmer's wife? 

I know what you are thinking, but why is this story a Christmas story? Because it happened on Christmas Eve!

Morphing GOAT !!!

Yes, a deviation from the macabre, thought you might enjoy seeing this next edition of the GOAT:

Sell away!

If You Want Something Done Right..............

I don't know this for sure, but it appears as though the subject of this obituary was the author also. Well done!

December 16, 1954 - November 13, 2021

Cary, North Carolina - See, I told ya I wasn't lying about that cancer thing. I was born in Elmira, New York to the late Monna B. and Merritt B. Derry. I spent my entire youth and childhood in Elmira Heights, New York graduating from Thomas A. Edison High School in 1973. After bouncing around aimlessly I joined the United States Air Force in 1976. It was there that I became interested in psychiatry and decided to choose this as my line of work. In 2016 I retired from nursing at UNC Hospital's Child and Adolescent Psych units. I'm survived by a very special daughter Elizabeth Lanier (Mike) and two brothers, Edwin Derry (Sylvia) and Thomas Derry (Pamela Rapp). Also survived by nieces Shelby Wisneski and Chelsea Derry and a nephew David Derry (Brenda) and family. After cremation, remains will be spread throughout the country. There will be no funeral, calling hours, grave, nothing. I had too many people in my life, friend and foe, telling me they could not wait to urinate on my grave. Looks like I've won… except for that death thing. Memorial contributions may be made to Transitions LifeCare (Raleigh) or the American Cancer Society.

Published by The News & Observer on Nov. 21, 2021.

One has to ask oneself, when was the last time the word "urinate" was used in an obituary?

A Word To The Wise

Stephen A. Lawrence

September 11, 1962 - October 24, 2021

Nashville, Tennessee - Stephen A. Lawrence passed away on Sunday, October 24th in Nashville TN where he had recently relocated to work helping people get jobs. He said, "this is my dream job." Stephen died from a server Covid-19 infection after refusing to believe that Covid was real and refusing to get a vaccine. And then refusing to go to the hospital when he could not breathe. He would now tell you that Covid-19 is REAL and to GET A VACCINE. Stephen was a local Garner boy. He leaves behind his broken-hearted 92-year-old Mother, Jessie "POLLY" Lawrence who was the face of THE HICKORY HOUSE in Garner for 28 years, His son Derek and brother David, along with many others who cared for and loved knowing him. Please make his passing mean something. Please go and get a vaccine in his honor.

Published by The News & Observer on Nov. 19, 2021.