It's My Life................

Thinking about Gwen Stefani singing that song now, which is better than the Monty Python "I'm A Lumberjack" ear worm that I've had all day. 

Let's see, Lewis Hamilton won the US Grand Prix last weekend and therefore the Formula One world championship. Nice going Lewis, not a real classy move shoving your teammate out of the way on the first turn of the first lap, but as Kevin Harvick proved at Talladega last week sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.....Anyway, after the race Lewis was very happy, and tossed his teammate Rosburg his P2 hat, hilarity ensued:

By the way, in Formula One not unlike NASCAR everything about victory lane is scripted, the P2 hat denotes Position 2 or what is called in racing, first loser. Who would have ever thought Formula One drivers would be such a$$holes? But anywho I do enjoy Formula One. Ever see the movie Rush? There you go..... 

We saw The Martian Thursday night and loved it, then came home and re-watched Interstellar. So add in Private Ryan, how much money have we spent trying to get Matt Damon home? Oh, the humor gets worse, much worse, read on................

And Spectre is on the way, maybe next weekend if we can fight the crowds. 

And a good week in Detroit, hired at least one rep and got to see utter destruction of a US city. It is very sad, and kinda scary, but some of those I visited think the city's bankruptcy might be the best thing for the city, and are optimistic for the first time in years. Good for them.

Pictures: yes, we got pictures, but sadly none from last week when the FO showed up Sunday morning and went fishing. No not fishing, for the first time in months (it was the first time on the boat since August) we went catching, got a bunch, enough for supper and to send some home to Durham. I plan to go again in the morning. Sorry the GoPro didn't upload correctly, I also suspect user-error. 

Forgot this one from TN a couple of weeks ago:

Photograph taken by me at an office in Detroit this week, pretty obscure but funny

Insert your punchline here:

I'll get you started: The Pope, a priest and a rabbi walk into this bar........now you go

And then it got darker........................FO called today to discuss fishing, etc. and shared a joke he authored. As he began I asked for the setup line to see if I could get the punch:

FO: Do you know how messed up Lamar Odom was in that Nevada cathouse?

Me: So screwed up that he married a Kardashian? (no, my part wasn't that good, I know)

FO: So screwed up that Bill Cosby called him. That's pretty good, I'll share that at church Sunday.

Then it got even darker.................don't ask me where I found this but one of my favorite drivers filmed a commercial for NBC and the Olympics a few years ago, and I'll bet you forgot about it

Sorry, could resist after I re-saw it this week. And now it is hard to un-saw it ain't it?

I got into town early enough to take my sweetie to the movies Thursday night, and now I'm going to get to stay home all week. I too suspect the game is afoot...........................

FN US 74

I drove from Charlotte using Independence (74) and due to something or another added a couple of hours to my trip. Therefore it is late Friday and I am tired, short entry.

Great week with Leone-Green this week. Did three open houses, saw a bunch of customers and even saw some mountain scenery and then played golf in a scramble Thursday. That was the first time I golfed since September 2014. It was the first time with my own clubs and shoes since 2013. That's hard to believe, I used to really enjoy playing and just lost the drive.....pun exempted. I played well from tee to green, then my lack of play really showed. I drew three contractors and enjoyed their company.

Since I am delivering a terse commentary tonight and the pork chops will be ready soon there are only two pictures:

A bear in a tree in TN:

And a herd of elks in NC, yes a herd of elks on my way to Atlanta Wednesday afternoon:

Not that it matters but there were also a few turkeys on the left side but my little camera phone could not pick them up. Maybe one day I'll spring for a nice SLR

One more and then I'll stop:

You, not unlike millions of others have probably sat and wondered what jaguars eat for dinner. I kinda know what cougars drink before dinner, but what do jaguars eat for dinner? And then use the residue for luggage? Jaguars are bad................mofos

Riding around Charlotte this afternoon, talked to the FO on the phone, and then passed him. I pulled over long enough to say "hey to Gomer, let's go fishing" and then off. 

Jammed pack full day in the office tomorrow so that we can hopefully fish Sunday. Off to Detroit Tuesday and home Thursday.
PS: Someone asked why there are no fishing pictures, easy answer: I haven't fished since August. Sad, sad story, we're going to try to fix that Sunday.

Charlotte

Good news: I made an earlier flight out of DFW, bad news: there isn't much choice between 4:00 PM and 8:30 PM if you want to go from Charlotte to New Bern.

Great week in TX, got a lot done and had a superb dinner at Del Frisco's. I love their steaks, but after sampling the ahi................................

Putin presented the trophies at the Russian Formula One Grand Prix Sunday, insert funny caption here. Very surreal scene, and I really enjoyed watching him stand at attention for the driver and constructor's national anthems. Great Britain and Germany. No hard feelings anyone?

Pictures:
Audi R8 in Hampton. The picture doesn't do it justice, bright and shiny copper color

 USS Wisconsin in Norfolk

 There, that settles that. Now is the Pope Muslim?

 Elizabeth's ride for last Sunday, Kahlua. I don't know anything about horses, but I really enjoy going to watch her ride

 And there she goes.........................

My old buddy Jay Wells from 1983 at Bristol. I guess I'd forgotten that he ran victory lane for NASCAR for a while before going to work for US Tobacco. He said Dale looked at him and said "hey troll, we won, party tomorrow night"

 The NC mountains in some of their late afternoon glory. I'll be going through there next week, wish it was on my bike

 This guy used to walk around Rocky Mount picking up bottles. His hands did not have enough strength in them to pick up the discarded bottle, so he pushed the bottle with his feet over the lip of the wagon; it seems as though someone tied his hands to the wagon so he could pull it. After he collected a wagon-full someone took him to the Pepsi plant where he sold these bottles (to me for a couple of summers) at $.02 a piece. Tell me again about how hard your job is, and yes, my job also. And yes sadly I remember making fun of him, but quite the inspiration. 

 NC/TN/GA/SC/NC next week, and for the first time this year I will play golf; wait, it gets better, for the first time in two years I will play golf with my own clubs, that is if I can find them.

Why or Why Not?

Amish girl water skiing and no response? I am truly disappointed.

Because 45 years ago last week he was buried. 45 years ago, something about that magic age of 27 that famous musicians (who abuse drugs) can't seem to get past very easily. Look it up, there are a lot of members in that club. But the music is here because I like that song and album, I hope you give it a listen. Great album too.........

If you're in sales and marketing an important tool is to target your audience. Here's an example:

Yes I know, she's hot. If you are a marketing guru at Emirates what cable station should you use to hit your target audience? Since they don't use New Bern I've never flown Emirates, but I've seen their flight attendants (drool) and I know the airline's reputation.....believe it or not I saw this ad on TBS. No offense, but I would have thought their viewers would be more interested in the sale this weekend at Wal-Mart....or the new NC "education fund" lottery scratch-off. Oh my! An offensive thought, but hang on it could get worse.

Rode the bike to Raleigh to get a repair, I hadn't even left the dealership before the mechanic flagged me down. The correct part number had been ordered, invoiced, received, was even labeled as the correct part number, but he noticed it was the incorrect part. Sooooooooooooooo I could just go home and try again another day. They were very apologetic but you know, I told them if I had driven a car up there and back with no success I would be upset, but I just drove my bike for a few hours, remember the thought process about the dog hanging his head out the window? Kinda like that. I've been trying to plan a three day bike trip since July, I guess it will be winter before I can get it up on the Blue Ridge Parkway and by then it will be too cold....oh fudge.

This is so wrong wrong wrong, but funny:

No comment
This is wrong wrong wrong and NOT funny

Witch on a bicycle with a broom

Recently there was a Facebook post featuring a picture of my grandson Cooper, and how he has a history of taking bad pictures. There is actually a Riley family history of bad pictures and not being able to smile for the camera very well. In a reversal of family crooked smiles fortunes, oddly our spouses all have models' smiles. And since they married Rileys........for no apparent reason

Anyway while looking for artifacts in an ancient Rocky Mount abode this rare photo of me recently emerged; I was caught on camera trying to flirt with a young lady across the room, someone told me to smile at her

No, it didn't work.
More pictures you say?
Underneath the waves is Highway 12 going to Cedar Island. Turn around, don't drown

Our boat landing parking lot last weekend, there was a school of menhaden sighted and the snowy egret was prepared

 Last week I published a picture of a flounder in Freeman's parking lot, this guy must have seen it

 This is how much it rained, glad hurricane Joaquin stayed away, could have been really bad

 Shhhhhhhhhhh, I bought SWMBO some new shoes, all of the cool kids are wearing them

I did go by the church Wednesday evening to help them unload our New Mexico pumpkins. The truck arrived a little early, the unloading was planned exceptionally well, I basically picked up two pumpkins as Stuart May took my picture, ate some pizza and came home. No, not really, this is such a great way to earn some cash for the youth program and give a community face to our church. We've been doing this for several years and it is a wonderful program. I was on the first committee that initiated the plan, I was the only male in the room and kept suggesting we have a pumpkin pie contest. After the meeting I came outside and found my car keyed and all of the tires slashed. Coincidence? Just kidding, calm down, easy big fellow, steady....steady.............Thanks for the t-shirt Jackson, if you have old discarded t-shirts or hats please send them to me..........or knit shirts........or jackets.....I like jackets!

From the FO, a motorcycle trailer shaped in the form of a Mustang. If that don't beat all

While you're pondering deep thoughts such as why such a fan of the Mustang but riding a Harley...or why not drive a Mustang and tow a trailer that looks like a Harley? I'll give you one more to think about. Ever wonder who loves you more, your wife or your dog? Here's how to find out; lock them both in your car trunk for an undisclosed amount of time; take them for a ride with lots of sharp turns, come home and open up the boot. Guess which one will be glad to see you?

We were lucky last week. Out early Monday and home late Friday. Going to be a good week.

Little Extra Time Tonight?

Don't share that with SWMBO, I was supposed to go with her to Sanford to grandchildren-sit this weekend; but then again I was supposed to get my bike fixed in Raleigh today also......Her day started out with Kevin, I mean Cooper trying to flush a sock down the upstairs toilet. Operative word, upstairs. But Jay and Holly are off on a wedding weekend so we'll just worry about that on another day, fiddleeeee-dee. But I just finished work and don't have to rush for dinner tonight. 

I can tell you what might happen if SWMBO ever got mad at me, OK, when she gets mad at me

But sadly Joaquin had other plans, I had to look up the spelling. I would really hate to think that something named Joaquin would tear up our house. The rain has been horrible, and the big stuff hasn't started yet. Everything is soaked, all the ponds, ditches and creeks are full, and we're supposed to get six more inches this weekend from..........................Joaquin. I haven't seen the sun in over a week, but I've got a feeling the folks inland are going to have a rougher time with the rain than we are. It scares me to see one model for........................Joaquin that has him stalling and looping back here for a direct hit. The same loop as Floyd. 

Just how wet has it been you ask? Actual pictures from Shelby Freeman's parking lot:

That is a flounder in a parking lot, no, I didn't take the picture it was in the paper, if I'd taken the picture I'd be eating fresh flounder instead of a chicken pot pie tonight, well that is if Captain Jim's had any.
Our neighborhood boat landing three hours after high tide

People (and this is a church lady, we won't tell her name) are preparing for the storm anyway

I asked her if the boots were for wading or mixing, her reply:"Be prepared"

And the Seafood Festival is in process. I recall one rough Saturday afternoon many years ago, but other than that their weather has been good. Guess they were due, and again I feel sorry for the vendors and charities who depend on that income.

I've worked for manufacturers most of my career and I/we have made some mistakes, but I've never tried to deliberately mislead a consumer, and yes, the day is young. But, Volkswagen's little oopsy daisy could cost them $86 billion, yes that word starts with a B. So, just for the record, my emissions standards have never been misleading, I've always stood behind, or actually directly in front of my emissions, and I'm proud of my record. Except that one time when I was about 7..........and we'll forget that

I showed a picture of my Northwest rep in his river craft on his way to a fishing hole. He told me this is where he goes:

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, might re-think that one

I know you already know this but BMW has been making engines for a long time. Many years before I took that airhead apart they were building aircraft engines. For the wrong side. Or the German side, this is pre-Nazi, talking about WW 1, the big one. Anyway, give it a listen from the mid-30's, what is it about gasoline engines that make my heart go pitter-patter? Although not shown I have a strong feeling this engine was already warm. When I sold the airhead one thing I displayed online was that the engine was cold, I did this by putting my hand on the cylinder head and then cranking it. 

Pictures? You want pictures? OK, I warned you, hang on!
Wrong times three, your caption can go here if you're witty enough

Yeah, I don't know where I found that either. Sadly this young lady divorced her husband later, seems as though he was driving her buggy

This is funny, but where are Miss Mosley or Miss Murchison when you need some grammar instruction? Seems like I remember getting plenty many years ago

Me! Pic at industry meeting in DC this week, and more than one person noticed I was indeed wearing socks. The guy next to me didn't get the memo, but he kinda owns the company where I work and I think his name appears on my paycheck............and all of my family likes him a lot!

While in DC this week I didn't know what to do one night so I decided to hang with my

Too easy? How about this one:
Difference:

 and ..................................................................wait for it

Easy, George Strait and George not-straight.

Sorry, that's funny

And I think Takei would laugh at that.

And to end it tonight because I'm tired and hungry, a rabbi, a pope and an imam walk into a bar, wait where are the Irish and blacks? Anyway enjoy:

Anyone feeling left out because I didn't offend you? There's always next week, Italians!

I'm still laughing about the George joke, if you like this diary please send it to ten people, I need reader reinforcement

Hopefully everyone stays dry for the weekend. In town next week